♧If you are not a Pervotaku, this chapter does not concern you and I ask that you please leave♧
♧My opinion changes over the months and stuff so please bare with me. Things happened along the way that changed my perspective, but I need to get it all out♧
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Sunday, April 23rd
I started thinking
Weird, right?
'Cause I act as the comic relief of this fam
I mean- we all are bc you're all hella funny lol, but I'm not taken seriously
That's okay, I guess
To get straight to the point, I'm. . . feeling strange
So many things are happening
I'm developing friendships
Everyday, I'm grateful to talk to you guys
But I got to thinking
It isn't anything big, don't worry
Suck it up buttercup, right? My responsibility is to be strong for you guys so, if needed, you can spill everything onto me. I don't mind it when you guys tell me stuff
Please do tell me your problems, but don't expect me to fix them for you if I can't. If I can, I'll try my very best
Hm
For the next month, when I feel any strong emotions, I'm going to write in here to keep track of my ever changing moods
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Maybe if I add, "lol" to the end it'll sound like I'm okay
I'm not depressed, don't worry
I'm not allowed to be
I
Hold up
There it is again
"Don't worry"
I just get into a mood
I want to cry
Tell you guys about it
But this is important
I'll deal with it on my own
Don't worry, I trust you guys
This is just so I don't strangle myself with thoughts that aren't so nice
Get them someplace
Get them out there
Away from people's opinions
At least for now
I'm going to make my bed
I love you guys ♡
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Monday, April 24th
I haven't slept yet
But it's 12:00am of course
My dog is cuddling against my leg
It's warm there
Oh wait
She moved
Oh well, I guess
I'm on episode twelve of Voltron
Fruit is so talented and selfless
Ink has such a beautiful voice, and yet she's humble about it
Don is an artist and works hard to achieve his goals
Rowan is so smart and joyful. I envy it sometimes
Pho is beautiful in all aspects of her entire being
Minami is the life of the party, warm a silky
Lily is this little ball of warmth that makes you want to hug her
Knight is strong and confident, even if you say he isn't. He truly is
WC is wise, and truly amazing, even if people don't see it
I don't know what I am
A narcissist, maybe? Heh
That isn't very flattering sometimes
I'm not as confident as I'd like to be
I act like I'm the best because, in reality, I feel like I'm the worst
Damn it-
I'm crying now
I've asked so much of you guys
I don't want to ask more of you
I can't ask you to understand when even I don't understand myself
Oh well, I guess
I get over things easily anyways, right?
I'm not happy all the time
That's been established
Some people deal with things like this differently
I doubt it's time to crack jokes
I'm in a fucking pissy mood now
I took a deep breath
I'm good
I'll be back sometime, I'm sure of it
Goodnight
I love you guys ♡
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Tuesday, April 25th
I've been happy all day. Not overly happy, but I'm not sad. Got annoyed a few times, but that's it really
I'm working on my Klance fic
I really like it so far
Don keeps on telling me about how he's making new friends at school and stuff
I'm jealous
There's no real reason other than the fact that I'm selfish and possessive
Well, deep down I am
So I'll keep it to myself
Okay nvm I told him lol
When he tells me he feels bad bc we don't talk as much anymore, it hurts
But I can't say that
After all, I'm not doing very much to stop it
During the week, sometimes we'll talk and be super happy
Other times its silent, silently begging for a conversation to take place
We talk about our futures
He denies a few things that I suggest
I know that he'll get over it
I'll stay strong for him
Don't worry
I'm here
Run to me
Talk to me
Cling to me
Anything to make me feel more important in your life than the people you talk about
I'm not always this possessive
But lately I've been feeling down
