Regrets (OnGoing)

Prologue

Madie Klaire's POV

"What the fuck does he have that I don't?!" he shouted at me frustratingly.

"You don't have my heart!"

He stilled.Shock was written on his face.Not because it's the first time he heard it.Everytime I would rub to his face the truth that I don't love him and all those time he was devastated.

'Really,Maddy?He don't have your heart?' I sarcastically asked in my mind.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't love you!"I said with a hard and harsh tone.I can see the pain in his eyes.

Humakbang siya papalapit nang hindi tinatanggal ang tingin niya sakin.My gaze went down to his chest.I took a deep breath before returning my gaze to his eyes.Beautiful eyes..and I am always the reason why it cries.

Hindi ko nga ba siya mahal?
Paano ko nasasabi sa kanya ang mga masasakit na salitang yon when I already knew that my heart is missing and he's the one who stole it.

"I know." he said hopelessly.I wanted to slap myself for that.He removed his gaze from me and he sighed before focusing his eyes on me again.He pulled me harshly and snaked his arms around my waist.I put my arms between us to put a distance.I started to breathe heavily as I feel the warm in his touch.

"Every damn day that's what you made me feel..na wala akong pagmamay ari miisa sayo.What?Your body?Sex?Should I be fucking thankful for that?Fuck no.That's not what I really wanted.Call me an ass for thinking that maybe by claiming your body you can somehow feel something for me aside from lust.I want you to love me,Maddy.Tangina." he smiled as his eyes started to become reddish because of the tears that's threatening to fall.A smile that is full of pain.

He leaned and brushed his lips on mine.He's holding me like I'm the most fragile thing on earth and I can't deny the fact that I'm lovin' it.He took a step backward and I can't hide the disappointment in my face.I'm a hypocrite for wanting him but keeps on hurting him.

Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa like he's appreciating some masterpiece.He licked his lips as he tear his gaze from me.I can now clearly see his clenched jaw.Anyone who'll see him right now would probably hate me even without witnessing those things he actually did for me.No need.I already hate myself.

Do I deserve someone like him?

Yes,I wanted to be loved by Zhander.

That's what I thought before.

"I'm still a human,Maddellaine.I get tired.Am I lacking something?Bullshit!Tell me.I'm even willing to be a villain for you baby.But you're treating me like shit pero tangina naman Maddy..kahit onti lang wala talaga?Nakakapagod kang mahalin...para akong naghihintay sa wala.I don't know why I keep on loving you.You keep on looking for someone else while I'm here persuading you to love me back.I'm tired,Maddy.Damn tired." I didn't missed the tears that escaped from his eyes before he turned his back and leave.I can't find the right words to say for him to stay.

"Mason." I whispered hoping that he'll come back to me and say that he didn't mean what he said.

But he didn't.

I suddenly clutch my chest.Ang sakit.

"Mason!" I shouted.I started to cry as the image of his back becomes blurry.

This is what I wanted,right?
I want him to stop pestering me.I want him to leave me alone and I want him to stop loving me.

But...

Why am I hurting?

Why am I regretting it?