Suicidal Beauty

Pain

*Matthew's P.O.V*

"What!? Me crying? Pfft your funny" I faked a small laugh but the more I smiled the more I wanted to break and just have him hold me as I balled into his arms. Taylor just looked at me with furrowed brows and a worried expression, 'stop that', I thought as he held my arm. I grit my teeth, 'stop pretending to care dammit'. Taylor wiped my damp cheek, my stomach caving in at his touch "Matt...you should come to me if your upset, were friends" he frowned and I just wanted to lose it.

Friends?! Since when did anyone volunteer to be my friend? Exactly, it never did. He was only a liar. My gaze turns to kurlos who was just leaning on the sink with an irritated expression but he always wore that expression around others so who cares? Before anything else could happen, I pushed Taylor away and sighed "don't touch me" I huffed and without another word I began to walk out.

Who did he think he was? Coming to this shit hole and immediately make me feel wanted and then he goes and sits with Jacob?! Fuck him.

A sigh escapes my lips as I hear Taylor coming after me but before he exits the bathroom I disappear into a hallway and up the stairs and to my next room, he didn't care he just took pity on me. Pity was stupid, pity is what a weak person needed and I'm not weak.

I walk into my next class which happened to be science, not my favorite subject but it was my second best so there you go. With the teacher missing my hand pulls out my razor and I lift my sleeve, dragging it hard across my wrist I give a sigh of release, pulling down my shirt I do the same thing on my shoulder, it hurt so much but damn it felt so good. Eyes watering, I always think that maybe if I cut deep enough I will bleed out my insecurities, my fat, my hate, my everything. Finally, I've made 5 cuts on both shoulders and arms with pure blood full of bliss, I smile happily and take my seat, pulling out my sketchbook and pencil I take no time to connect the lead to the mixed media paper and before I realize it I am drawing kurlos.

For some reason I always draw him, I couldn't help it. Despite being an annoying ass the damn thing was beautiful, my favorite thing about him was his eyes. The way the always darkened and lightened depending on his mood. Unlike everything else that bothered me kurlos was real. Okay not like real, he was a demon and only I could see him. He says he's something called a nightmare demon?

He loves to attempt at convincing me that he's haunting me because I was an ungrateful brat but through research I know the real reason he's here is because of my nightmares. Apparently any depressed or even remotely sad person will begin to have these horrid nightmares, to which hello! I have, and if they don't stop them or even embrace them an ass like kurlos appears to kind of make our nightmares a reality until you turn to suicide. Something like that.

I soon finish drawing his hair and this time I drew his hair up, I liked it up a lot, call me crazy but it was hot. "Weirdo" I hear the all too familiar voice behind me and sigh "shut up I don't choose to" I shrug and shut my book before glancing up and looked directly into those whine colored eyes, fuck they were beautiful. Kurlos chuckled loudly although to anyone else if he were human it would've been hardly audible but I'm just one of the lucky ones, "c'mon Mattie I'm so bored here, please kill yourself already maybe you won't be such a fat pig in hell" he grinned stabbing a claw into my stomach fat. My eyes fall to it and he was right, I saw huge belly rolls and sighed softly. I don't get it! I make sure to only eat a piece of fruit and water everyday so why am I still so huge?!

I'll never be worth anything.

*surprise P.O.V change to Taylor! *

I stare at Matthew with a worried feel and gingerly glided a hand over the dampness of his cheek, why had he been crying? The thought of someone hurting him broke me and as he looked up our eyes met and I felt a sudden pain in my chest but...it was a good pain, a pain that made me want to pull Matthew to my chest and never let him go. As we stared at each other I noticed his eyes and they were, well, mesmerizing. Due to his tears, they had become a bright and almost transparently dark blue like the sun shining on the deepest parts of the ocean.

My chest tightened as Matthew shoved away from me and without giving me a chance to speak he hauled ass out of the bathroom and I frowned reaching out to grab him but it was too late, he was already too far for my reach. This boy. Was going to be the death of me.

I wish I could understand what happened to Matthew to make him so off put but I wanted to learn. I wanted his trust and his smile I've only seen it once and it was lightning quick but it was enough to have me obsessed. I knew as soon as I saw him. I want his touch, his laughter, his breath. Forget it.

I want him.

sorry for the short late chapter >.<