Dear Cupid

P.S. I Hate You (A Letter for Cupid)

Dear Cupid,

I don't know how to start this letter but I guess a bit of formality is a must since you are after all the Greek god of Love, the great Eros. Worshipped and revered by many so you could grant them favor and let them experience passionate love as it is what you symbolize. You are the god of passionate love, a love shared by couples and lovers. The kind of love everyone wants to experience in this world.

I'd like to greet you a 'good day’ although I really can't say my day have been any good. I've just learned that my relationship was a sham. I don't know why I ended up in a situation like this. I mean I never had tried to hurt anyone intentionally. I've always tried to be a good girl. Why did I have to end up like this? Why did I have to end up being used for a reason I don't know? Why did it have to be me among everyone else?

For the first months of our relationship, I wondered why he asked me out in the first place. I'm not really pretty or curvy. I'm not athletic and I'm no genius. I'm average in everything. I'm nothing special. I'm a plain Jane for Pete' sake but still he asked me out and I wondered why he told me he likes me. I always thought maybe it was for a bet, to play with someone's feelings for the fun of it. But it wasn't like that. I know so, I think. That's why I'm left confused and hurt.

When he asked me out, I wondered and doubted a lot. It's not that I'm being a picky and ungrateful bitch because I'm really thankful that he did ask me out, even though right now I'm cursing him for doing so. In the first place, I've been having a major crush on him since we first met but who wouldn't be? He's handsome and hot! He plays basketball and tennis. A good dancer and a voice to swoon over! He's nearly perfect! Nearly because well, people have flaws and he's no exception but I still love him though if only he didn't play with me.

He's childish and a bit mischievous, okay not really a bit but a lot and usually. He likes pulling pranks on his friends but nothing dangerous just little harmless ones. He's also not quite good with his studies. Sure he passes them but just barely, just enough so he could stay in the team. He's also the jealous and possessive type although I don't see any reason he should be. I'm a freaking book worm and nerd for Pete' sake! No one would ever try to flirt with me for two reasons. One, I'm not worthy of their flirtations and expertise in the arts of flirting! I'm a nobody without any redeeming qualities! Second I don't even know how to flirt, not that I'm planning to but I'm just saying!

When I got used to the idea of 'us' I really liked it. Things were going well between us. He was oh so sweet and a real charmer. He would call me really sweet pet names like 'sweetie', 'babe' or 'princess'. He'd tell me he loves me every day. He'd bring me flowers and chocolates. I was so happy and contented. It made me feel really special, like I'm the only one for him.  I thought maybe someone as plain like me could have a chance at love, specially the love of someone like him.

But sadly, those months flew by so fast. We started to fight a lot but well we got through it all. Still whenever we fight, I felt like he was pulling away from me. Like he was leaving me, and I really hate goodbyes. He promised me he would never say 'goodbye' to me and I got the feeling he won't end us just because of that. I don't want him to force himself to stay with me just because of that promise. I don't want to be a burden to him. I love him and I only want him to be happy.

Then we had our graduation. It was probably one of the most heart-wrecking day. We were going to different Universities. That really sucks because I know there are a lot of pretty girls in Uni, all of them better than me in many ways. He promised me though that we'll make things work even though we were apart. I hope and prayed we could make it true. I trust him to keep his words about staying in touch.