I don't understand why people always think they can help me. What if I don't want to be helped? But then again what if I do? I'm not the type of person who seeks help for things like these. I'm the type of person that locks it away and deals with it myself. I've tried for years to get my emotions perfect so no one asks questions. But I still shrink at the hand of another person or jump easily when someone brushes me. And after everything I've done to keep myself as far apart from anyone and he comes along confronting me. How did he even know? What if they find out? He finds out.
He had brought me home hugging me with a smile on his face then left. Left. Left. Left. That repeats in my mind shocking my nerves making my head spin. The flash backs come fast making me fall gripping for the support of my bed. Everyone always leaves my mind reminds me.
No. I can't have a mind like that. It's unhealthy.
But it's true my mind contracts.
Maybe I should give him a try I mean how could I possibly be any worse off.
***
" no really I think you should date him jess." My best friend Zee says. I smile blushing as I glance around making sure nobody can hear us.
" I know I'm just waiting on him to ask me I'm pretty old school." I laugh. She gives me a look.
" you really like him don't you?" She questions. I nod blushing again cursing myself inside. " in that case I think I need to have a talk with him."
Horror is the only emotion that goes across my face making her burst out laughing.
"That's not funny Zee!" I say trying to be aggravated but my smile slips out. " yes I really like him but what if he doesn't like me the same way?"
"From what you've said there is no possible way he doesn't like you and trust me I know you talk about him all the time." She smirks.
I blush again embarrassed. "I can't help it!"
She laughs at me " hey it's not a bad thing jess."
I nod unsure. Maybe she's right.
