For Your Heart Only - Jeff Atkins

Chapter 11

"Mom, please!" I begged in French for my mom to listen to me, but she had already made up her mind.

"Renée, you are grounded. That is it!" She talked down to me, as I sat on the couch. With every word I tried to get in, she cut me off. My mom was livid. She paced back and forth in the living room. My dad sat in the corner rocking chair. His arms were folded. He had a stern look on his face, and he looked at me with disappointment.

"Renée how did you manage to get in a fight, within the first week of school?" He asked leaning over, placing one hand on his knee, and motioning towards me with the other. "I mean I would've expected this from Christina, but not you..... at least not so soon. Later on in the year, probably, but not..." He lingered but eventually gave up.

"What your father is trying to say.." My mom began with a resentful look towards my dad. "Christina is a bad influence on you."

"No she's not! I got into that fight on my own terms. I wanted to step in and attempt to break it up. And I punched Angie Ramiro in the face, because I wanted to. She pulled my hair, so I decked her!" I strongly defended my friend and myself, standing up and slowly approaching my mom. She didn't say anything but look at me. If looks could kill, I would be buried six feet under. I quickly regretted my remark, but I stood my ground, not letting her see through my facade. On the outside, I'm just as serious as she is. On the inside, I was nine years old again, running from my mom's ass whooping.

"I don't know who you think you are, if you think you grown or something, but you will not disrespect me." Her voice was cold. "Starting now, until the next two weeks, you will go to school, work, and then come home. I don't care about what plans you've made, they are canceled."

"Mom please. Let me go out, just for tonight, and I promise I won't ask to go any where else for the next two weeks." I begged her again.

"What is so important that you have to go out tonight?" She asked with a hand on her hip.

I sighed and dropped my shoulders "You know what forget it. You wouldn't understand, anyway." I simply said, and walked past mom heading to my room.

I flopped on my bed looking up at the ceiling. My mom is so hard to talk to. She thinks she's right about everything, and most of the time she is. But I wish she would listen. Now I know how my dad fells. My phone buzzed on my dresser. I'm lucky my mom didn't take it from me. I picked it up to look at it. It was Jeff. My face lit up, but my smile quickly perished. I know he's going to ask me about the date. It hurts me to turn him down. Guys like him don't come by often, especially in high school.

*R we still on for 2night?*

*I don't think so? I'm really sorry.*

*It's ok. Maybe we could go out some other time? See on Monday.*

'Fuck.' I cursed to my self. Laying on the bed, I began to boil with anger. Angry at my mom for grounding me. Angry at myself for fighting. And I was angry at Christina for provoking me. A lump formed in my throat, and tears threatened my eyes.

'Bitch you better not cry!' I fought my tears. "This will pass. You've been through worse. Stop being a baby, and suck it the hell up." I encouraged myself, but I only made myself cry harder. A knock on the door startled me. Quickly wiping away my tears, I invited who ever it was in.

"Hi." My mom said whilst making her way to my bed. She took a seat next to me, and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Hi." I repeated an sat up, awkwardly sitting side by side.

"Renée, I know you were trying to do the right thing," she started. "but me and your father expected better from you."

"I know, and I let you down. I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you. I promise I'll do better." I say whilst looking down and glancing at her.

"No we're proud of you." She says catching me off guard.

"Really?" I say looking at her bewilderedly.

"Yes. I mean at first, it upset me, but I'm proud of you. You stood up for yourself and your friend. No matter how much of a bad influence I think she is, I'm glad you stood up for her." She finished with a soft smile, and took my hand in her's squeezing it.

"Thanks, mom." I thanked her and rested my head on her shoulder. "So can I go out tonight?" I shyly asked while still resting my head on her shoulder.

She pulled away from me. "What is so damn important about tonight? Are seeing someone?" She asks.

It's like she can read my mind. I give her a knowing look, and before saying anything she rolls her eyes.

"Ah hell, Renée. You cant go one year without going out with some boy!" She begins her rant, and turns her body facing me. "What have you learned from last year? Boys are only after one thing."

"But, mom this one is different. He's really sweet and actually funny. I feel like I can really vibe with him." I argue.

"I don't know Renée. First you're getting into fights. Now you have a date. This has been an eventful week for you. Who knows what will happen next week."

"I know, but trust me mom. I'll be fine." I reassure her.

"Mhmm, what's his name?" She asks in dry tone.

"Jeffery Atkins. But we call him Jeff."

"Is this Jeff Atkins a basketball player to?" She asks suspiciously.

"No... he plays baseball." I respond quietly.

"Another jock! Renée what is wrong with you!?" She cries out in exhaustion.

"Believe me mom. This time is different." I squeeze her hand tighter, and look into her eyes.

"Baby, I just want you to be careful." She caresses my face.

"I will. And if it makes you fell better, you can meet him, when he picks me up." The words came out before I could stop them. I regretted them as soon as I said them. How could I put Jeff in a situation like this.

"Really? Oh this should be good." She beamed with joy clasping her hands together. Mom gave me a kiss on the temple, and left my room laughing to herself.

I sighed, before picking up my phone and texting Jeff the date was back on. He quickly responded with "Cool! 7:30 still ok?" I told him yes and he replied with a wink emoji. Maybe I should've told him that my parents were expecting to meet him. I was going too, until I looked at the time. It was 6:55.

"Oh shit!" I said to myself and quickly ran to my closet.