They always ask 'Are You Okay?' And I always answer 'I'm fine', but I guess I've just gotten too good at lying Through my teeth. I haven't been okay for a long time but saying that I'm not okay will just take to long to explain, so I sit here and say I'm fine so the fine line between okay and dying won't be crossed so they won't know I'm struggling.
They ask 'Are You Okay?' But they are never prepared for the answer. But who could be prepared for the river that is about to fall out of my mouth if they dare ask what's wrong, if I dare let them in to know me too well. No one is ready to help, they don't have the right words to stop the tears falling or to stop my lip quivering so we sit there in silence, the only noise I can hear is my heart slowing breaking.
Its been broken for so many reasons, so many times, how am I meant to repair a heart that's never been whole? You can't put something back together if it never had a shape to begin with. Because broken isn't a shape but it's the default way my heart restores itself.
They say you must know sadness to experience happiness, but my whole life has just been sad, at no point I can remember have I truly been happy to be alive, happy to be living. I wish I could experience this thing they call happiness, it sounds so amazing, if only I was that lucky.
