Ave Michaels is an out-and-proud cynical romantic who never had her heart broken (considering she has to fall in love first.)
That is until, in order to get published, she has to prove she's a versatile writer by writing a romance novel.
Throw in a...
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Welcome to the notorious Haus of Misfits.
As a member of this family, one must always carry oneself with the utmost pride and dignity and must adhere to the following conditions :
1. Hanging out without talking to each other is fine. Using your phone for social media validation and getting a high score on a mobile game while the other is talking, is just plain rude!
2. It is normal to show up uninvited in each other's place, provided they bring food and libations and promise not to abuse this trust by snooping around or catching the other in the midst of a hook-up or at a 'self-service' moment.
3. Sharing is caring. This applies wholly to food and drinks. Current beaus/fuck-buddies/booty-calls, and exes not allowed.
4. An assigned nickname will be designated for each person. This nickname must be pre-approved by the entire group and can only be used by someone within the group.
5. Loyalty is everything. One will always support the other. However, in the case that the other is in the wrong;
6. Never be afraid to speak the hard truth – no matter how hurtful it can be for you and your friends.
7. An occasional intervention will be hosted if one violates two or more of the rules, or is in a situation that the others see fit to address and solve.
8. Making fun of each other is widely accepted, only within the group. This includes pranks and shade-throwing.
9. All are enjoined to indulge or engage in a fight if one or more of the members are offended, or attacked, may it be directly or indirectly, by jealous haters.
10. Dibs applies – on everything. Period. If there is a tie-breaker, both parties must settle it in a competition elected by the rest of the group. Only the dibber can negate and lift up the 'dibs'.
11. One must never mess with the others' exes.
12. 1. The title of 'wingman' is given by default, and will be upheld with the utmost determination and integrity.
13. Safety is a top priority. Recons and other forms of Black Ops (i.e. health checks and last-minute condom runs) are employed for future paramours.
14. Once a month, it is mandatory to attend Karaoke Night and sing at least 4 solos and participate in all the group songs.
15. A copy of the movies: The Devil Wears Prada, A Cinderella Story, Bridesmaids, and any other works that involve Meryl Streep, Jennifer Coolidge, Kristen Wiig, and many other gay icons, must always be present on all laptops, iPads, and phones.
16. Thrice a month, it is mandatory to attend a sleepover in the Benvidez residence.
17. Friday night is Drag Race night. Attendance is a must!
18. Condoms and tampons (or sanitary napkins) must always be carriedaround by all members of the house in case anyone needs them for emergencies.
19. Secrets are sacred—and must be addressed through the 'Vault'. Everything is sealed inside the 'Vault' and only the people within the group can have free access to the 'Vault'.
20. Always help a brother/sister out – even if it means trading your dignity to public scrutiny and other embarrassing positions. (e.g. bartering flirtatious remarks as a distraction, shopping for home pregnancy test kits, etc.)
If any of the following rules have been violated, a council will be formed to investigate and decide on a suitable punishment, depending on the degree of the violation.
Prepared by:
Maria Tatiana Louise "Tea" Benvidez
Notarized by:
Manuel Jose Rodrigo Eduardo Benvidez
Paralegal for Abernathy & Smythe Law Firm
Confirmed by:
Maria Tatiana Louise "Tea" Benvidez
Kiana Ka'iulani "Sushi" Mori
Jonah Daniel "Granny" Moors
Avalon Georgine Ainsley "Rebel" Michaels
Thomas Michael "Beasty" Gates
Jayesh"Joule" Gimeno
Jethro Prescott "Tildy" Orson
Guy Maximilian "Slut" Bryer
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