How we parted

the "not so nice Max"

We remained really strong as i was talking about for another three months so in total we have being going out 7 months and about 3 weeks
Then you know my best friend jakub well he said he would like to have a catch up so i asked max he said "yeah it's fine you haven't spoke to him in ages go , go have fun" so i did i knocked on Jakubs house and we had a big catch up about max and how jakub is doing and why we haven't spoke i took a photo with jakub and max said i look really close to him and i text max asking what is up with him and then this is where he turns into a different person we had an argument over jakub , jakub has always being there for when i need him and even when me and jakub and Milly were a trio and become a pair Milly was my ex best friend she left us because she was interested in boys to much she always got cheated on here's a real life poem I wrote about her ...
I told you not to go back
But you couldn't see it was black
Don't come to me when he hurts you
Everything I said is true
You said before you hated his guts
And I wondered why I heard enough
I also thought you were tuff
But I don't know what to do your my "bestfriend" but claim you have another friend like bitch I wasted a year and 6 months of my life for you  
And now you got another crew
"Sisters before misters"
Remember  that was our little saying
But now I'd be better even praying
It's not the first time he's hurt you
Why get back with him
Tell me how you feel
Actually you never tell me
what's the point
I'd rather roll a joint
And get high
Than me rather saying goodbye
It's when you've gotten no one you come to me and I've always being there but
Wait
Where have you being for me ...
The way that we used to sleep at each other's
To now being alone without a text
I saw your Snapchat tonight and your with him and ur new best friend
Well look I got replaced
It's like I've being chased
Chased so far into the woods
It feels like I'm frowning
No more dramatic like I'm drowning
And I think we're coming to an end
You were like a sister but 
Now we're more like a popped blister
So this story or whatever is about how me and my bestfriend always gets separated
didn't I tell you we don't go same schools how didn't I see this I'm such a fool
How can you be so cruel ?
You got lured in like a trap
And I just want to give him a slap
My heart's sinking as I type
My tears are flowing like a pipe
I didn't know I could be poetic
But it's what you get for being pathetic

so me and max fell out But surely one argument didn't end it ... No not one argument alot more ...
We carried on arguing because of jakub ,max  accused me of cheating , lying , being a horrible girlfriend..
everysingle night i had pannic attacks and i kept having them one night i sat and thought as much as i love him i need to do something i tried everything spending more time with him everything untill i couldn't do anything so i decided it must come to an end i cant keep having a panic attacks over some One  who is meant to care for me and who i thought cared for me and he  made  me feel this way ....
I tried to call him
I tried to tell him in person but i know he would cry and he hates crying infront of people so my only option was to text him as i was typing  " Max I'm sorry i cant keep doing this if we are going to argue this is breaking my heart" my tears started to spill down my face
An hour later he got my text
He thought i was joking but i told him at this moment i knew he felt the same as me like this world has being ripped out of his heart His actual reply to my message was "please don't leave me think have what we have being through together all those memories " and i loved him i knew i made a mistake and i know you think that i should or am getting back with him i love him right? But this isn't a really happy book is it ? So i said no but maybe​ the arguments would have gone if i got back with him... No my desison was to not get back with him then we didn't speak until..