Easter break 2016
It took quite a long time, until I admitted it to myself. For such a long time I've pushed this thought to the back of my mind. I had looked for excuses, so that I didn't need to think about it for too long. I've talked myself into believing I wouldn't feel anything. But all of a sudden everything became crystal clear.
A look into his eyes and I knew, that I've blacked my feelings out for almost a year. I've acted like they weren't existing at all. Like I wouldn't feel anything for him. I had a crush on someone else, just to overact my true feelings.
But now that wasn't possible anymore. I had to face the truth.
And the truth was, that I hoped for him to come to school every morning. I hoped every day that there would be a bad excuse to sit next to him. I hoped every day to see his sly smile . And I hoped, over and over again, that he would come to me and hug me even if he did it in his own way.
The truth was that I fell head over heels in love with him.
But I couldn't talk to anyone about my feelings. I wanted to tell my mum. I wanted to tell her about my dreams where he put his arm around me and told me that everything would be alright. I wanted to tell her, how we laughed together in school and how he always came to me.
I wanted to tell her that I loved him.
But how do you tell your mum that you love the boy she hates like poison so that she didn't want to see him in her life ever again?
I'm here in your arms where I belong but every touch feels so wrong
YOU ARE READING
The voice
Historia Corta"A boy of this faith doesn't deserve a girl like you". These words were like an echo in my ears. Again and again. But they didn't find their way into my head. And much less into my heart.
