Betty, Interrupted - Bughead

20

It was a relief when they pulled up to the apartment building. Betty was no longer able to pretend everything was okay. That all she cared about was school and friends, that she was unfazed by losing her sister and mother in different ways. She dodged her fathers questions about Polly, claiming that she hadn't heard from her or seen her. His sad eyes crushed her as she assured him that she would call in the morning.

Veronica hugged her as soon as she opened the door. All at once the exhaustion hit her, overwhelming and all consuming. The worry in her friends eyes were evident.

"My god, Betty.. you've lost so much weight. You look so damn small."

For a moment she didn't know how to respond, unsure how to explain that nothing tasted good anymore. Hungry had been replaced by emptiness. The time that she used to take up eating was now used to hate and pity herself in alternating rotation.

She realized that she was doing to her friends what her family had done to her, hiding the darkest part of herself. It was the only way to maintain control, by controlling the image that appeared before them, even if her grip on that image was becoming increasingly more difficult. She concentrated on Veronica's voice, still rambling on throughout Betty's reflection.

"I should really be giving Jughead a piece of my mind, he told everyone that he was looking after you. I thought he was helping you!"

"What- No. No. I just.. I can take care of myself."

It sounded weak even to her, a pathetic attempt to explain away the pain she didn't want to talk about with anyone. She just wanted to sink into the large plush couches and try and forget. Not listen to anything or anyone, just escape from all that scared her. Veronica had barely gone into the kitchen before Betty's phone chirped with a text from her father: What happened to Polly's room??

She ignored it and turned the ringer to her phone off, smiling as Veronica carried in a large glass of something that looked sweet and smelled alcoholic.

"Jeez Vee. Drinking on a school night? We're becoming a pair of bad asses now."

"I figure you need it after the last few weeks.. I hope you don't mind Betty but I invited Archie and Jughead over."

Betty tried to hide the annoyance that showed on her face, but her friend caught it.

"Oh yes, Archie told me all about the blow out you had after you left Cheryl's. He feels really bad about it. I know you wanted a girls night, but he needs to apologize to you. Honestly so do I. It was too easy to convince myself that Jughead could help you through this in a way that I couldn't. I thought giving you space was the right thing to do, but I'm worried it's just made it easier for you to get yourself in a really dark place. You know how much we all care about you right B?"

"I have not had enough alcohol for this conversation."

"It's true! I feel like 90% of my days are spent convincing Kevin that you haven't abandoned him. He really misses you. None of us know how to help, and I think we're all really fucking this up. With the exception of Jughead."

"Jughead is like the last good thing in my life right now."

Betty whispered it into her cup as she took another sip. It was hard to think about the distance between her and Kevin now, born out of distrust she had for his father rather than anything he had done. She was reminded of the night where they stood hugging drunk at the party, the distance between them only a few feet instead of the grand canyon that lay there now.

"I just don't even know what I'd say to him. If he'd even pick up the phone when I called."

"He would always pick up the phone for you Betty. We all would. You just need to make the damn calls."

Veronica reached out a warm and well manicured hand to squeeze Betty's and it was all the incentive she needed to head into the kitchen and pour herself another drink. She was eager for a wave of indifference to wash over her. It looked like a magazine spread in the Lodge kitchen, not an object clashing. Betty suddenly felt out of place, like this place was too high class to be searching for vodka to sneak into the drink she had been handed. All the same she didn't think twice when she found it and poured a hefty amount into the glass.

By the time she came back into the living room, Veronica had a concerned look on her face.

"So what is going on? We could never get any information out of Jughead.. He has only ever said that you're managing okay and that we just needed to give you some time."

Betty couldn't say she was surprised. Getting him to talk about his emotions was like getting blood from a stone so it was even less likely that he would reveal how she was struggling.

"Just a lot happening with my sister and my mom. The easiest way to explain it is that they were far from the image they presented. I don't think I ever truly knew them. All the sudden Cheryl is the sister that Polly always wanted. My mom is gone. They were really complete strangers and I loved them in spite of that.."

"I don't want to take away from what you're saying but I always did believe what my dad appeared to be. I didn't want to think about what the people and papers said. I'm not judging you for what your family has done, because lord knows you have never judged me for what my father did. You can talk to me Betty."

She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol loosening her tongue as she made it halfway through her second drink or the comfort of releasing what had been torturing her, but she found herself spilling everything from beginning to end. Summarizing the trip to the motel and finding Polly's handwriting on the note that was supposed to be from her mother, finding her moms diary and ending the story a few hours before where she stood in her sisters room staring at a bag of drugs.

Veronica had tried to hide the look of shock as Betty explained but it crept onto her face all the same. She reached out a hand to Betty's and this time she didn't pull away, thankful to be able to come clean.

"And you haven't told anyone about this but Jughead? Oh my god, so this is why you haven't been speaking to Kevin.."

"I know how this sounds. That I look like I'm crazy and I just can't let go of the image I had of my mom in my mind.. but something isn't right here Ronnie. I can't be imagining it all.."

The knock on the door tore her away from her confession.

"Boys are here. I can send them away if you want, I'll just tell them it's not a good time."

She shook her head, all at once feeling the need for her boyfriend's arms around her. She could hear Veronica offering Archie a drink, but didn't look up. Instead choosing to stare into the murky depths of her glass, ashamed of how she felt. It wasn't long before she felt the familiar weight of Jughead settling in beside her. When his eyes met hers, it was like he'd never missed a moment. He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into his shoulder.

"Something isn't right is it?" he whispered into the top of her head.