Still My Idiots // One Direction [Book 2: Idiot Series]

Bonus Chapter: After.

England was cold. It felt a lot colder than usual. Harry didn't know if it was that empty feeling inside of him, or if it was actually cold outside, but he was really cold all the damn time.

Empty. That's what he felt. Empty.

Mica had meant so much- wait, her? We're going to talk about her again? It's always about Mica, isn't it? Mica, Mica, Mica, blah, blah blah, who gives a shit? She's dead, gone, no longer existing. She doesn't matter anymore.

But if that was the case, then why did he feel so God damn empty all the motherfucking time?

Let's ignore Mica for a bit and talk about the boys, who have not been the same. Harry was on anti-depressants and was seeing a therapist, which everyone knew about. Louis was secretly seeing a counselor, which nobody knew about. Niall didn't tweet anymore, which was obvious to anyone with eyes. Zayn had basically dropped off the face of the earth unless there was a concert or an interview that he had to attend. Liam had stopped getting tattoo's and going to Funky Budah with Andy. They've changed.

And who do we have to blame? Mica. Its all her fault.

Yes, we're talking about her again, but that's only because she fucked up the biggest boyband on the planet.

That's what the fans think anyway. They've began to send her hate. Yes, they're sending a dead girl hate. This is one of the reasons they refuse to tweet anymore.

It was killing Harry. Because he loved her, he was so crazily in love with her. And he never got to prove it because Mica wanted to die so badly.

She fucked him up, it was her fault. That's what he told his therapist. 

"Don't talk like that, Harry, she hadn't realized," she'd say. But Harry didn't want to believe her. Mica killed herself on purpose, she did it to hurt Harry.

He knew that wasn't true, but he liked to think it was.

What about Louis? Mica's best friend, Louis, what about him? Well, he felt empty too. Not Harry kind of empty, Louis kind of empty.

Eleanor broke up with him afterwards, because Louis didn't want to get out of bed. El didn't get it. He was sad, why wouldn't she just let him be sad?

Because Eleanor was selfish. She was a selfish asshole. She wanted Louis to take her out to buy her clothes, and go to Starbucks and drink tea and go shopping for expensive things. And Louis couldn't, because he was so fucking sad, so Eleanor dumped him. Over a text.

The text read, and we quote, "i cant deal with this anymore lou, were over".

And that made Louis angry. What did she have to deal with? The fact that she'd have to wear the same pair of pants twice? Oh, the horror! That is horrible. Louis bet it made her want to get drunk, get high, then go for a drive and crash on purpose. 

No. It did not make her want to feel like that. It made her feel pissed off because her rich-as-fuck boyfriend couldn't take her shopping anymore.

Louis had thrown his phone down the stairs. He stood at the top of the stairs and angrily threw it down. It smashed, of course. It took him twelve minutes to pick up all the pieces.

Louis' counselor told him that he didn't need to be sad, because Mica was watching over him. Louis thought that was bullshit. She wasn't in Heaven. She wouldn't have been able to get in.

They all secretly thought she wouldn't get into Heaven, but they were too scared to say anything. Niall would cry. He cried just thinking about everything.