keep me counting ➳ j. dilaurentis

three.

warning: mentions of a s**cide attempt + sardonic humor

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monday afternoon

"i don't get why i have to miss out on all my classes," she argued. "all i did was cry at school, and i'm pretty sure more than half the kids in the whole united states of america have, but they don't get kept from their education over it."

"maisey, you didn't just cry, you full on sobbed. and screamed. in the middle of a crowded hallway, before first period," jason said, making face at her. "and as soon as i brought you here, you passed out. on this couch."

"well, i'm awake now! and i would very much like to get to my classes," she answered, shrugging on her backpack and standing up. "thank you for the help, but i'm okay."

she darted for the door, but he blocked her off, arms crossed. her breath hitched, they were inches away, she could feel his breath, the rise and fall of her chest syncing in with his. slowly, he snaked his arms around her waist, hands practically ghosting over her figure, handling her as if she were a porcelain doll that would break any moment now. the light contact made her breathing grow shallow, and she looked down at the floor.

he pushed her chin up, leaving her with no option but to meet his gaze. "i love you," he mumbled, leaning in closer, noses brushing. she closed her eyes, ready to melt into his lips. "i could never stop loving you. and it hurts me so much to see you like this."

"why do you have to keep on hurting me," he said, voice echoing. she snapped her eyes open, and it was dark. he was far away now, standing by a street lamp, shaking his head before turning away and walking off into the darkness.

"jason!"

her eyes fluttered open, taking in the sunlight that seeped in through venetian blinds. the air was crisp and smelled like that cologne that she could never forget. she was safe, in the guidance office, jason's office, curled up on the very couch she dreamt she passed out on. guess she really did pass out after crying a whole river.

she sat up, her throat dry and cheeks stinging. that dream meant something. she was fragile and she hated it. maisey knew she could no longer just put on a brave face and argue her way through her problems without letting anything shake her, because everything hurt her. this town hurt her. jason hurt her. her mom hurt her. her mom broke her, and shipped her off to a whole different country to "spend time with her father" when all that woman actually wanted was to have her as far away as possible.

"you're awake," a male voice said, from the corner of the room. she turned to face him, and saw jason sitting in a chair with a book in his hand. he gave her a small smile, and she gave one in return. "i just got off the phone with your brother a couple of minutes ago. he's on his way."

in that second, all the sleepiness was gone, and the warm, fuzzy feeling of waking up after a good cry, to the most gorgeous man in rosewood, was replaced with sudden worry. "what?"

"he's your emergency contact, i guess dianne doesn't live in rosewood anymore?"

"she doesn't," she answered, trailing off. "why did you call ezra? this isn't an emergency."

"maisey," jason said, smacking his lips before leaning closer to the couch she was seated on. "you had a full on breakdown in the middle of a crowded hallway."

"i was just upset," she said, nonchalantly. "i just had a misunderstanding with my friends, and i-"

"maise, i went though your transcript."

for a good moment, there was silence. a million thoughts ran through her head, of what jason thought of her now that he knew, of why he checked.

"i had to. you were away from rosewood high for two years, as the substitute guidance counsellor, i had to figure out why you would lash out like that over a misunderstanding." silence, again, from maisey. she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, or even look up at him and see the look on his face. the disappointment, or distaste, or both. but instead, she heard a sniffle, making her head snap up at him. there were tears welling in his eyes, threatening to fall.

"why did you try to-" jason said, choking back something. "to off yourself, on that may fifth."

the door swung open, and jason instantly wiped his eyes, standing up. "i'm still talking to her," he said, to ezra, who barged in and kneeled down to be eye level with his sister.

"you don't have to say another word," he assured her, taking her in his arms and dragging her out of there. she looked back, to see jason standing in the doorway, watching her, with that hurt look she couldn't bare to see. the siblings rushed down the hallway, her eyes meeting aria and spencer's as they left a classroom. again, with that hurt look.

ezra opened the passenger's seat of the car door for her, and she took the seat, buckling herself in and gripping her backpack close to her chest. "i'm so sick of seeing my sister hurt."

she was sick of making people hurt.

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monday night

maisey sat in her bed. aria, hanna, emily, and spencer each atop a stool by her counter. the four girls watched her as she downed her meds, two pills at night. there was complete silence in the air. hanna was the first one to break, stifling a sob.

"please don't," maisey interrupted. "it's okay. you guys didn't know. i'm not mad."

"why didn't you tell us?" aria asked, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"it's not exactly something i can just bring up. hey, i tried to kill myself the night before i left rosewood. no biggie."

"don't say it like that," spencer said, pain evident in her voice.

"sorry," she mumbled. silence, again. "can we just start over, please?"

"what do you mean?" emily asked.

"forget today ever happened," she said, with a smile. "you guys are my friends. it's not your fault every small obstacle ticks me off."

"maisey, you had an episode in the middle of a crowded hallway because of us," hanna said, stuffy voiced. "it's not exactly something we can just forgive ourselves for."

"well, i forgive you guys for it," she said, setting her cup of water down on her bedside table. "and there's just some things we have to let go of, right?"

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word count: 1108

this chapter has been edited

this is just a filler chapter ~ i'll update very very soon 🍃 i hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it ~~~~~