***READ UPDATED VERSION NOT THIS VERSION of Love Squared

Chapter28~Hunter

I'm so mad at myself. Ash apologized to me when it should have been the other way around. It caught me off guard, really, but I remembered what I had promised myself. So, instead of doing anything to annoy her, I limited my responses to four words total. I could tell she was confused and frustrated so I was about to apologize when good ol' Ryan walked in and ruined my perfect opportunity. I guess I couldn't blame anyone else but myself for not saying anything though.

I was really proud of my save when Ash almost got kissed by Ryan. I had seen him kiss her once before and there was no way I would ever watch that again, no matter how much you paid me. So, right before their lips touched I swooped in and rescued Ash. I just wish I could always be her superhero and protect her when she needs it and let her be independent when she wants to. I also wish that she was happy I saved her from him and knew I was only trying to help. But wishes just don't come true, do they?

"Hey, Hunter!"

I turned my head towards the direction of the voice and saw Shawn walking towards me.

We had just had our dinner and I ran off to the dressing room for some time to myself. I just needed to think over some things and I didn't want anyone else around, but I wasn't gonna try and avoid people.

"Oh, hey, Shawn!"

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Just resting my head. I have a bit of a migraine, but I'll be ok."

"Aw, I'm sorry, dude. I'll try not to talk too loudly."

"Nah, you're fine. It's not that bad."

"Ok..." He awkwardly moved from one foot to the other and I waited for him to say what was on his mind. "Um... well, I was wondering, can we talk?"

"Yea, sure, what's up? Is everything ok?"

He regained his usual suave manner and made his way over to a lounge chair directly across from the couch I was lying on.

"Yea. Well, I hope so at least."

"What do mean? I can tell there's something on your mind, so just say it."

"Ok. It's just... How are you?"

'How am I? Broken, quite frankly. Torn, shattered, tattered, crushed, destroyed. All because I'm in love with a girl I can't have.'

"Uh...fine?" I heard my voice say.

"No-I mean-ughhhh. Why have you been acting so distant lately? Like, you're so quiet anymore, I-I don't know. Is something bothering you?"

I couldn't meet his eyes. "N-no."

"We're just worried about you, Hunter. That's all. You don't have to tell me now, I'm here to listen whenever you're ready."

"Ok. Thanks." I looked up at him and gave him a halfhearted smile.

'How can he just lie to my face? They aren't worried about me. They just want me to stop being so unhappy all of the time. I bring down everyone's mood.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Get ready, guys! We go on in 5!" Rachael called out.

We were chilling out backstage just before our concert started when it happened. Again. I don't know what triggered it, the nerves, maybe, but I didn't know what to do. I was having yet another one of those LOVELY panic attacks. Note the sarcasm.

Just like the day before, my breathing started to quicken at an unhealthy rate and my head started to spin. I unintentionally tuned out everything going on around me. I had lost control of my senses completely. My vision blurred and my ears felt plugged like I was underwater. I kept running my fingers through my hair, ignoring the pain in my left hand caused by that action. I stood up from the couch I was sitting on but my legs gave out and I went tumbling to the floor. I felt someone grasp my shoulders and I saw six people looking down at me, trying to get through to me. I couldn't hear what they were saying though, and I squeezed my eyes shut to try and calm myself down. And just like before, I felt my breathing slowing down and all of my senses were coming back to me. I finally opened my eyes and saw the faces of Shawn, Eric, Hazel, Rachael, Phil, and Ash all sitting around me.

The second I realized Ash was holding my hand, I pulled it back, got up from the floor, and sat down on the couch. I don't know why I did that, but I just felt like I needed to even though I would've paid anything for her to hold my hand.

"Here's some water." Phil handed me a water bottle.

I struggled to unscrew the lid due to my sweaty palms and ended up spilling a little water on my clothes because my hands were so shaky. Then, when I finally screwed the cap back on, I glanced up to see everyone was watching me. Ash had tears in her eyes; she looked positively petrified.

"J-j-just the-the n-nerves." I gave a shaky laugh and stumbled to the bathroom before anyone could say anything.

I quickly dabbed my face with a wet paper towel and left to go look for Rosalina, avoiding everyone in the process.

I found her in the green room with a few other crew members and I pulled her aside.

"Hey, uh... Rosalina. I, uh, was wondering if you could quickly fix my stage makeup? Please? I, um... Got overheated and I might have wiped some of it off by accident." I really hate makeup but I would look washed out on stage without it so it was pretty necessary.

"Sure, no problem, Hunter." She worked quickly and efficiently, and before I knew it I was back behind the stage with my band.

"Sorry, guys. I had to get my makeup fixed." I stared at the ground while I spoke and walked to my side of the stage before I could be questioned about the panic attack. I was still so surprised that I got rid of the attack so quickly, but I doubted I'd ever be able to do that again.

Our musicians started to play the first song chords once again as I took my deep breaths. First show without playing the bass. I definitely felt like I was missing something. But the worst part about it was that Ryan had taken it from me. Just like he took Ash.

}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~}~

(A/N:)

Sorry it's been so long, I had a ton of tests this past week and I was studying for them every night.

Thank you so much for reading this chapter!! I love you all!!💚❤️

If you could go on vacation anywhere, where would you go? I'd probably go to either Disney World or London.🐭🇬🇧

Until next time!!!!🙋🏼👋

~T🐐🇫🇷