[ A WATTPAD FEATURED STORY ]
•••
❝We accept the love we think we deserve.❞
But what does that really mean?
This is Eva's story; a tale of a wayward girl who had a heart of glass and when it broke, forgot that light tends to creep in through the cr...
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Eva was staring into nothingness, feeling like a cold fist was wrapped around the inside of her chest.
Fear. She realised it was fear. The heart-gripping kind.
Since she didn’t have any lunch and made for Algebra II straightaway, she was the first in class and there was ample time till the teacher had to arrive.
She jumped when a bag landed heavily near her feet, but relief washed over her when she looked up to find Terrence claiming the seat next to her. But as soon as it had come, the relief vaporised, anger filling the void in Eva’s stomach instead.
Terrence was supposed to be there. He was always there by her locker. Why hadn’t he been there today?
But why was Eva angry? Did she wish he’d been there to help her? Was it alright for her to want that? No. No, it wasn’t alright. She didn’t deserve protection. She had upset those students in some way, and she got what she deserved. It was only fair.
This was confusing Eva. She felt like her head was about to explode.
She knew she deserved it. But she also was angry that Terrence hadn’t been waiting for her because if he had, Jessalyn and her group of friends would have probably just walked away. So what was it that Eva wanted, exactly? She didn’t know.
“You look really tensed,” Terrence observed, squinting at her. “What? You don’t like Algebra? Or is it the teacher, Mrs Bartholov, that you hate? Cause, I’ve heard of her being strict but she’s in no means a bully or unnecessarily mean —”
“I really don’t care, Terrence,” Eva muttered, sighing exasperatedly.
He blinked, obviously surprised at her abrupt interruption.
“Why do you look so surprised?” Eva couldn’t stop the question from tumbling out of her usually careful mouth. Sometimes her curiosity just got the better of her. She was always dismissing Terrence; always pushing him away. So why did he look taken aback now when she disregarded him?
“Because I thought we were making progress,” he answered truthfully, his simple eyes boring into her troubled ones. “That after all these years, maybe you were finally letting me in to be a friend.”
“I DON’T—” Eva caught herself quickly, cutting of her yelling halfway. She had been about to tell him for only the thousandth time that she didn’t want friends. But she recalled the dinner conversation with Logan. She couldn’t disobey.
She breathed heavily for several seconds, trying to calm the bubble of rage inside her. If she wanted people to like her, if she wanted to make friends, she couldn’t be yelling at them right? She needed to please them. She needed to obey, didn’t she? Only it felt odd to behave that way to Terrence after pushing him away for so long.
“Sorry,” she quickly said through a tight throat, dismissing how uncomfortable she felt. This was what Logan had asked of her; her discomfort wasn’t a priority.
