My Diary / Quotes To Help You Guys

Friday 28 April

My mum was right.
She told me that I did nothing wrong and that I should stand my ground and wait.
That's what I did.

Something I learnt in my 17 years of living is that guilt is the best thing in the world.

It's one of my favourite words.

Guilt.

It is a weight that will crush a person.
Why should I do anything after I said my sorry. They are the ones that carry it on and I still don't know why.
Guilt will follow you around whether you deserve it or not .

What I'm about to say will make you hate me . However this is the only defense I have against the world.

I use guilt in order to make someone feel bad so I could manipulate them later.
But it's not wrong of me to do this in this situation.
What they have done to me i will never forget.

This is how I am.
And I'm not sorry about it .

Anyway, for the past two lessons I have with them i have not gone.
Today they both came up to me to ask if I don't come because of them.
This made me so happy .
Not because they talked to me.
But it's because they felt guilty.
Girl C the one I had an argument with. Is the most stubborn person I have ever met. She's so smart when it comes to stuff like this. But with her work it's just ....

You get the picture.
I get that you may think im a bad person. Just know i am this way because of certain reasons.

I've built my walls up so high that I don't remember how it was to trust someone.
If I could give you guys an image.

Imagine a heart full of life. Only for it to be hurt at. The life slowly slipping away. However there's such a small bit of happiness left that even I don't want to ruin it. And lock it in a small cage with no key.