Her Accepting Heart by Ayesha Ally ( A.M.I )

7

7

Samiha ran into her children's bedroom and fell between their beds as her tears rolled down her cheeks.
   Ya Allah... Why? Why? Why? Her silent question echoed in the darkness of her soul.
   How did it come to be?
   What did I do wrong?
All her questions making her heart feel heavy.
   He loved me, only me...he promised he would always love me?
  'And he still loves you, he will always love you. He is just feeling an emptiness which, unfortunately, only Nazmira can fill.'
   As the realisation hit her, she sobbed harder.
  If only I'd done things differently, would he have still made this decision? What is he thinking now? Could he be regretting his hasty decision?
   Basheer stood at his room window and looked out.
  What was he thinking just blurting out the proposal to Nazmira? And then coming home and blurting it out here? The pain on Samiha's face engrained itself in his mind and he fisted the window pane. He'd hurt her when she loved him so dearly.
   How could he? He'd done this so easily yet it all just became more difficult.
   Samiha was never going to accept Nazmira as a co-wife. How can any woman accept a co-wife just because her husband had found comfort in her? If it were that the other woman was a widow or a divorcee and needed companionship, it would've not made it any easier, but definitly it would've made it more plausible.
   And now he was at a dead end, with both woman out of reach. And he so deserved it. It would serve him right if he didn't end up with any of them...
   But just as that thought crossed his mind, he heard the room door open, and in walked Samiha. She avoided looking his way, but she did things as she usually did...
   Her salaah first, then she set the bed for the night and placed his pyjamas on the bed before getting into her place.
  Only that night, her body shuddered with sobs and her sniffles could be heard in the darkness.
   Basheer walked away to the bathroom with his change of clothes in his hands...
   When he returned, he noticed that his wife was silent as he read his salaah.
  As he got into bed very quietly, he didn't expect to hear her husky voice...
   "Please tell me why you did this to me? Am I not enough for you just because I was possessive over you? Did you do it because of our daily squabbling? I need answers to all the 'whys'. Can you please tell me what drove you to it?" Her eyes were closed, yet her tears rolled from the sides of her eyes.
    Basheer dared to wipe it away with his thumb before answering her...
   "Love..."
Samiha's eyes shot open and she stared blankly at him.
  "Love? If you loved me enough I wouldn't have had to see this day... now tell me what does she have that I don't?" She questioned softly through her tears.
  "I do love you, I love you a lot. And you have everything she has, it's just that while travelling with 'her', our daily conversations were general but somehow she just had an effect on me. And then last night I was frustrated because you and Ma were not understanding and believing me when it was only the truth that I was speaking. No man likes to come to a home where he is falsely accused..." he trailed off when her eyes searched his.
   "So you went to her the next morning and started discussing our personal problems with her? Why?"
   Basheer swallowed...
   "When we have issues, you have Salma and Mummy to speak to...Who do I have? No brother, no father...Nazmira just happened to be a comforting source that I could speak to when I had no one to talk to..." he suddenly looked lost as his tear slipped, and Samiha's caring nature kicked in.
   She found herself wiping away his tear and then mumbled an apology for not being the one to lend him an ear when he needed it.
   She realised that he was right to a point because she never considered that he also had feelings and needed to speak it out with somebody as she did with Salma every weekend.
   "Why couldn't you have considered her just a friend? Why a wife?" Her question was filled with curiosity.
   And his silence was filled with tension.
After deep thought, he finally spoke.
   "Maybe it's because being friends would've caused more problems between you and I..." he had no idea how stupid that sounded.
  Samiha laughed sarcastically as she got up into a sitting position.
   "And how did you think that telling me that you want to take her as a wife would make the problems less? I don't understand... how was it so easy for you to fall for her in the first place?"
   Basheer closed his eyes and the only image that filled his mind was seeing Nazmira through the rear view mirror every morning and evening, her smile always on her face and her happy chatter even when she was talking over the phone with a friend or a work colleague.
   But then his gaze focused on the woman in front of him and his heart tore in two.
   She was the reason for his ultimate happiness, but suddenly he realised that he needed both women for different reasons...
   "Samiha, I don't know all of that but please accept my decision...For me..." he pleaded.
   Samiha's throat closed over and she turned over...
   How could he be so heartless? How can he ask her to share him with another woman? No ways! She was never going to accept it. If he wanted to go ahead with it, he was on his own... she shut her eyes closed and bit onto the corner of her pillow to stifle her crying.
   Basheer watched her and again knew that he was asking for too much... he turned away from her and tried to think of where his life was going to...

Ayesha Ally