Knowing Sang: Moments from the Blackbourne Boys' Persective

Painful Secrets

                  

Damn it!

I look down and spot Sang lying on her belly on the floor of Kota's bedroom. Her lips part in surprise, eyes widening to an even brighter green. I didn't expect to see her here so casually. It's weird. There's never been a girl around us for so long before, and Sang's becoming an almost constant presence.

I realize she's still staring at me, and remember our conversation from earlier. Oh god, I yelled at her. I can't believe I did that.

When Nathan redlined, Sang and I were in the middle of our conversation, and I just got so mad at her for something that wasn't even her fault. She can't help it if she's cute and the Doc decides to flirt with her. He'll flirt with a squirrel if he finds it cute. Not that Sang can compare to a squirrel obviously but . . . argh, what the hell am I even thinking?!

"Victor!"

Sang's shout makes me flinch as she leaps up from her place and crosses the room over to where I still stand by the stairs.

"What happened?"

"Training," I say quietly. For some reason, I find it hard to meet her eyes. Apparently I can't seem to lie to her very well. But around my periphery I see her fingers hovering close to my face.

"With what, a bear?" she asks. I know I look awful, but it can't be that bad. I shake my head and turn to Kota, silently apologizing.

"I didn't think she would be here."

Damn. That came out harsh.

Kota nods and stands up. "It's not important. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say, before focusing on Sang again, who's still staring at me with those infuriatingly puzzling eyes. "I'm sorry, Sang." My voice barely comes out.

But she heard. And her eyes widen so much they look about to pop out of her head. "Sorry? For what?"

"I yelled at you earlier before I left. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it."

Her jaw drops.

Why is she looking at me like that?

"How could you think that? You get into a fight and the only thing you can think to say is you're sorry about something that doesn't matter?" She's almost yelling herself now, pitch high, voice clawing at my ears. I don't understand. What've I done? I don't understand this girl at all.

"Fine," I reply hotly, "next time I won't apolo—"

Then suddenly her arms are wrapping around my neck, hugging me, pressing her body close against mine.

"Ooof! Sang, I . . ." Any other time, I would've enjoyed this. But right now everything hurts. And her hug was unexpected. I didn't brace myself.

Screw it. She feels too good for me to let her go. I run my fingers along the length of her ribs and hold my cheek against hers.

"I am sorry," I whisper, for her ears only.

Sang lets out a sigh, then steps back. Her face is red, and she's looking at me bug-eyed again, this time a bit nervously.

Kota brings out his medical kit and hands it to her. "Where's Nathan?"

I glance at her briefly before looking away. "He's still training." Lie.

"Where?" Sang sits back on her heels. Kota, Gabe, and I all follow.

"It's just at the Academy," I say.

She frowns, her eyes shifting. Calculating. She knows I'm not telling the truth. She asks if Nathan was the one who beat me up, and I have to suppress a laugh at that one.

"No."

Her cool, soft hands cup my chin before she dabs the cotton with the peroxide hard against my cheek. Ow.

I thrust my head back, yanking her wrist away from my face. "Easy, Sang."

"I barely touched you!"

Barely? That was barely touching? Christ.

She does her best to clean up the rest of my face but I can't help squirming and the occasional flinch. For some reason I had the idea she'd be gentle. But nope. Not even close.

"Does this happen a lot?" she says quietly after a while. "To all of you? Do you get called out of school to go do training?" She emphasizes "training" like it's something really terrible. And I guess to her, it must look pretty bad. Heck, I must look pretty bad.

Kota finally speaks up. "One of the stipulations for us being there is that Mr. Blackbourne would have full control over our schedules. If we ever needed to be called up for something that was Academy business, we would be allowed to leave class to deal with it."

"Does it always involve fighting?"

"No."

"Am I allowed to ask what kind of business at the Academy makes Victor's face look like he got mauled by a baseball bat?"

Punched by a bunch of high school morons, actually. I exchange looks with my brothers, warning them not to say anything about what happened. Sang doesn't need to deal with this. She has enough going on in her own life not to be brought into ours.

"It's better if you don't know, Sang. I don't want to keep you in the dark but if you knew . . ." Kota trails off as we watch Sang putting the kit back in the bathroom. 

"Are you worried I'd be scared for you? I'm freaking out now. How is knowing worse than not knowing?"

My brothers and I look at each other again. How do you fight that kind of logic? How can we possibly explain?

"Do your parents know? I mean what if Kota walked in one day and his poor mom saw him with bruises all over his face?"

"She . . ." Gabe starts, but Kota quickly shuts him up with a look. Sang doesn't know Gabe's got makeup for all of us in case of exactly that sort of thing happening.

Sang's shoulders stiffen momentarily before relaxing again. She straightens, sighs, before turning around and coming back into the room with us.

"Are we done with homework yet?"

Her question takes me off-guard, and my brothers too, it seems. I want to tell her. I want to figure out her secrets, everything that's ever happened that made such a haunted look appear in the gorgeous eyes of such a sweet, beautiful girl. And I want to give her something in return. My secrets. All of it.

Kota gives a slight shake of his head. And that's it. I know it's not happening. "It's time for a break," he says.

Something wafts across my nostrils, a smell I didn't notice until now amidst the commotion. I look around in confusion, spotting no food anywhere nearby. "What smells like tacos?"