Love Me Not

Chapter 1

I never realized it until I saw him with his last girlfriend.

I was at the mall looking for some clothes when I saw them at the food court. They were laughing and having fun like usual, with his girlfriend being ever so touchy and him whispering,

"Wanna head back to my place?"

Ethan wasn't always the playboy type, believe it or not. Once we hit high school, he felt his first pair of boobs and lost his viginity to some junior girl. Now he's got a reputation for jumping from girl to girl.

But that wasn't the reason why I fell in love with Ethan Jones.

His good looks doesn't fool me from the goof that he truly is. His smile is always genuine and his eyes are the sexiest shade of brown. He'd always bring me up when I felt like shit, and he did a good job at it because I've been feeling pretty shitty lately. I love how he can make someone feel so beautuful without even trying. And everytime he looks at me, that's exactly what he sees. Me. 

But every time he had a new girl, seeing me was the last thing he ever did.

Seeing him with other girls wouldn't usually affect me. But after knowing him for as long as I have, I grew jealous of the Food Court Girl. And all the ones before. I wanted Ethan all to myself and I wanted him to want me as well. At one point, I actually believed I could have him. This only lasted about a week and a half.

After breaking up with Food Court Girl, he visited me and hung out in my room, just like old times.

"What happened this time?" I asked. He was playing around with my backpack keychain as I ate last night's dinner.

"Ella, why do you have to be so perfect all the time?"

"I'm anything but perfect, Ethan." I said.

"Oh c'mon! You always do good in school, everyone likes you, you never got in a fight and you're the realist, most genuine person I've ever met. Not to mention the best friend I've ever had."

Ouch. That last scentence screams "friendzone".

"Okay, enough talk about me. Just tell me what happened between you and your girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend. And I caught her talking to another guy. I never actually like, "liked" her, you know? She was just someone to have fun with."

"Ethan, you are such a hoe."

"Yeah yeah, I know already. You tell me that all the time."

"Uh, maybe beacause it's true!"

There was a short pause from him. In that moment I resented how much of a bitch I can be sometimes.

"You really think so, Ella?"

Oh fuck, I'm the most selfish, cold hearted bitch ever. But damn, can he just say my name one more time?

"Well, if you really want to know... It isn't that hard to notice. You're always with someone new, and they are usually hoes. I mean, if you want to stop playing games with your feelings, you gotta commit yourself to someone who deserves it."

Inner me: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

He stopped playing with the keychain and looked straight at me. He climbed onto the bed where I was and cupped both my cheeks full of spaghetti. Then he roughly kissed my forehead, making me choke a little on my food.

"You're a genuis, Ella! I freaking love you!" He said.

There he goes again, giving me false hope.

"Okay stop, I gotta eat my food. And it's not a problem, Ethan. You know, it's just plain old Ella being-"

"Plain old Ella. Yeah, after hearing it all of my childhood, I got it."

He gave me a cute smile and we spent the rest of the night watching our favorite movie series, Harry Potter.

I thought about how he was single again and how I could actually have a chance this time. But one thing about Ethan's "single life" is that it never lasts long. I knew I had to act fast. But no matter how much time I had, I just couldn't bring myself to tell him that I liked him. I couldn't bear to think of how I would just make things awkward between us and lose my friendship with Ethan. I ended up letting my feelings go and tried my best to forget about it. I even convinced myself that it was just some small crush.

After that week and a half passed, he visited me again and told me the most horrible thing I've ever heard.

"Ella, I think I've actually found the one."