Faking it.

Chapter 4 - Todays the day.

I woke up the happiest, I've ever been. Today is the day. Today is the day everything will be over. I jumped out of bed, and I went to take a shower. I washed my hair with strawberry banana scented shampoo and conditioner. Once I was done, I dried myself with a big while fluffy towel then I blow-dried my hair, putting it in two french braids. I brushed my teeth with minty toothpaste. After I was done in the bathroom I went to my room to get dressed and do my makeup. I picked some light washed blue jeans, and a striped shirt. For my makeup, I put foundation on my face, and wherever there was a bruise, or cut. I also put on concealer. I wing my eyeliner, and I put on mascara. I do my eyebrows and I put on a tinted pink lipgloss. I got my white Vans and I put them on.

"Why are you so happy today?" Kyra asked me, since i never smiled this big before.

"I dunno." I lied. Not wanting to ruin my plan. "I just feel like today will be the best day of my life.

"I don't think you're feeling well." Kyra says. "Want me to take you to the nurse?" I shake my head no, repeatedly.

The bells rings and we go to our classes. Throughout the day, even with all the bullying I still managed to keep a smile. At lunch while I was walking past Grayson and Jessica -who were in the process of making out- they stopped and started at me with confused faces. At the end of each class, I would tell each of my teachers goodbye, something I've never done before, so of course they would have questioning faces.

When I got home I made sure my mom was gone. She was, and I was more happy for that. I started to pace my room, thinking whether or not to right a letter. I decided to. I wrote:

Dear, Mom.
Along time ago you would obsess over me. Where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. We had a loving family, or what I thought was a loving family. Dad left  I was sad that dad left. I always wondered way he did. Until I came across your love letters. It's the 21 century, so I'm not sure why you sent love letters. I'm not sure why you even started talking to other people. Dad was caring, and he never did anything to hurt either of us but yet you hurt him, so he hurt us by leaving. You started drinking, and hooking up with random guys, bringing​ one home for the night, then a new one a day later. I was hurting but I guess you were too busy to know. I also started to get bullied, I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because dad left, or maybe because you were sleeping around. My friends all left except for one. Kyra. Everyday my bully's would jump me, punching and kicking me. Kyra would heal me. She'd tell me to tell but I was too scared. Too scared to face the truth. Too scared to see that nobody truly cared, even though Kyra told me they did and would help me. But she doesn't know the real me. No one does, not even me. I deal with depression, and anxiety, not wanting to eat, not wanting to live. Just wanting to give up and die. I have so many lines, with so many memories on my body. Some are as fresh as yesterday. Others are so old they are barely noticeable. If you're reading you're probably wondering why. Why did I write this. Why you didn't notice. Why I never said anything. I'm saying something now. It'll be over soon, for the both of us. 4/29/17 is the day I'll die. I'll be free and happy. This is my suicide note.

I grab a razer and I cut my finger, I drop blood onto the letter, and I fold it, puting my name in blood, in pretty cursive. I text Kyra.

Goodbye Kyra. I love you so much, and i wanted you to know that you ment so much to me. Thanks for being such a good friend.

I know she won't see it to later on. She was at volleyball practice. I grab the razor and I slide it across my skin, in places that lay clean, but not deep enough to kill me. Then I cut deep in my wrist, just a simple cut. I grab the letter and I hold it in my hand. Today was the day. Today was the happiest day of my life.

~Charmz <3
Really sad. Hope you guys liked it, I have big plans. Feedback​ is always appreciated. Bye. Btw the pic is Kyra.