crushed.

you - petit biscuit.
---------------------------
and maybe i was not enough;

i was most definitely not (p r e t t y)
enough,
most definitely not (w o r t h) enough,
n o,
the stars surely did not (a l i g n) at the
single sight of me,
h e l l,
glitter and gold did not (d r a p e)
themselves over me in pleasure,

b u t,

the sun,
the moon,
and all the single galaxies combined with
the stars,
did leak out of my lungs to caress your
features - leaving small fluttering smiles
at their wake,
butterflies did serenade and leave tiny
imprints of the love you unleashed in me on
the crook of your neck,
and lions did awake from their great
slumber to leave fleeting dangerously
romantic kisses on your honeycomb
flavoured lips,

did you not see?

i sacrificed everything for you,
yet you left me hanging high and dry,

you left me so high i could not come back down, even if i tried.

and i'm sure you would love to know what
happened to the butterflies and the lions,
to the sun,
moon,
and all the single fucking galaxies and
each and every star combined?

well,
the butterflies' wings were crushed and
became nothing but mere powdered pixie
dust,
n o,
not the magical kind,
the rather dangerous kind,
the kind that could ruin and hurt you rather
instantaneously,
the kind that caressed and reconstructed
my bones,
the kind that bonded with my salty tears
to create a lethal potion.

the lions?
they never awoke from their great slumber.

what about the sun, the moon and all the
single galaxies combined with the stars?

they reek of sadness and sweet melodic
tunes of suicide,
they leak and pour all at once out of my
wrists and they burn and imprint
themselves beneath my eyelids,
they caress and play a dangerous game of
tug of war with my heart strings and leave
the bittersweet aftertaste of heartache on
the tip of my tongue.

some nights i choke and splutter them out,
others i drink and soak them up,
their venomous taste of vodka scorching
down my burning throat.
and i
S C R E A M.
i
SCREAM
so loud my heart clenches and the pixie
dust that has now buried itself deep within
my veins bursts and creates explosions of
violent explosive grandeur hues of GOLD
which i bathe in,

another
SCREAM
and the lions awake stupid fast out of their
great slumber to kiss the face of death,
savouring its earthy, cold, metallic taste,

SCREAM
and the sun,
the moon,
and all the stupid single galaxies that
combined with the stars EXPLODE and
forcefully crawl their way out of my coral
cool parted lips,
leaving me spewing alphabet soup that
spell out:

'he was poisonous.'

and they're right,
so i SCREAM again and you flashed before
my eyes,
and my lungs,
my bones,
my heart,
they ache.

and although you did me so wrong,
although you fucking ruined me,
i still allowed you to intertwine our hearts together,
i still allowed you to kiss me to paradise,
i still allowed you to breathe me back to life.

so.
maybe i was not enough;
but you still imprinted love on my collar bones,
you still coaxed the sadness and hurt out of my crushed limbs,
you still unfolded and undressed me with such tender love and care,
and you still sung 'i love you' into my ears-
tentatively nibbling at my earlobes teasingly as you did so,

maybe i was not enough,
but you sure as hell made me feel as though i were.

i just needed to believe it.