crushed.

h | u r t.

i can't live here anymore - daughter.
smoke - daughter.

    *apparently the first song is banned from
      youtube which is a bummer because it's
      beautiful and goes so well with this piece
      but if any of you have deezer or spotify,
      it comes up on there. but for any of you that
     don't have them it's okay, 'smoke' by daughter
     also compliments the song very well.
     x much love.*

---------------------------
sleepless nights with empty dreams;

    and you screamed at me to get my paper love
    away from you for your hands were like fire
    and they would've burnt the love to ashes,

i wish i had listened.

    you pleaded with me,
    you said you didn't mean it as you watched me
    cower away from you;

the ash ridden butterflies engulfing me,
my skin relishing in charcoal.

( f u n c t i o n s ),

i struggled to breath as i felt the fire in me gnaw at my insides,

    i coughed up my heart,
    and my lungs,
and placed them ever so carefully in your scarred palms.

( f i r e ),

you hissed at the contact and i recoiled slightly,
    i wanted to feel it,
    i longed to feel the burn,
    the pain,
    it soothed me.

"wha-what are you doing," you gasped slightly,
    your tinted golden dusted orbs grew wide in
    disbelief as you stared down at my
    monstrous organs,

i counted.
    i counted each beat of my heart in your palms,
    i counted the quick intakes of breath you took as
    you admired me,
    i counted the seconds before your face fell.

fire.
everywhere.

    i looked down,
    my fingers, my palms, my arms, everywhere was
    on fire.

"paper love..." i whispered then,
    my heart and lungs trembled in terror as you
    reeked havoc within me,

    i watched as you tore me apart,
    burnt me from the inside out,
    smoke crawled up my throat and it was as though
    the angel of death had come to bid me a farewell.

( p u r g a t o r y ),

    you captured my lips in your own,
    my heart was caught in my throat;
    literally.

the kiss was sweet,
    even you couldn't deny the hunger and
    desperation
    that bubbled at the surfaces,
    you couldn't deny the pleasure that ripped at any
    spec of sanity and innocence;
    any signs of your chivalrous manner that had
    once been had now manipulated into need,

with all your gentlemanly behaviour shredded,
you allowed yourself to get lost in my hold for the first time in a while.

    curses rolled off your tongue as i placed my
    hands upon your chest;
    i wanted you to feel,
    feel my love burn right through you
    despite the constant fire that consumed the both
    of us,

my skin was scolded but i didn't mind for i wanted you and only you,
                                                                 forever.

    i involuntarily hissed when you nibbled just
    below my ear and you gripped my waist leaving
    burns everywhere,

    the galaxies that had been unleashed from the
    pits of my stomach now spread themselves
    within you;

settling the bittersweet storm.

    "s-st-stop," i had groaned half-heartedly,
    but this only fuelled your needs as your
    plump lips
    left a trail of sweet love bites at their wake,

"please...you're ruining me, why do you always do this to me?" i cried,
the lions clawed at you but that didn't stop you,
they burnt in the flames you had created and it felt as though a part of me had been crushed.

    "baby, you need to listen to me," you whispered,
    your voice hoarse and thick with desperation,

    "i need you to go, okay?" you had pleaded then,

    as stubborn as i was,
    i shook my head in protest
    and you stared me down,
    belittling me,

    i didn't like the way you looked at me.
    it made me feel small,
    it hurt me.

"go" you roared and the fire parted suddenly as i felt the flames lick at my skin,

    i obeyed.