L.if.E (BoyxBoy)

First Love?

I lay on my stomach on top of my sleeping bag, listening to the rain beat down on the canvas, knowing that even though I was cold at least I was stay dry.  I peeped out of the zip opening and watched the more adventurous guys preparing to scout round the outcrop and meet some of the girls.  A part of me wondered if I should have at least gone with the lads and maybe I could have been close to Pete.

Who is Pete you’re asking, well he’s actually one of the guys that should have been going on the French canoeing activity, but he had pissed off Mr Thomas, one of the organising teachers, the previous week and so as punishment he was told to join us on the moors.

Pete had been a friend since junior school and was a guy I always looked up to.  He never seemed to let anything bother him and seemed to sail through school with ease, both academically and socially.  He was athletic and lean, not in a skinny way, but in a toned way.  He had hair that curled in just the right way, not like a Shirley Temple bubble cut, but in a flowing kinked way, it was hair I would have loved to have instead of my straight over the eye parted look.  He had the most beautifully shaped lips that seemed to invite investigation and these matched his almond shaped deep blue eyes that seemed always to sparkle with mischief and fun.  What I would give to have his looks.  He was also tall for his age, being around six foot two, and towered above most of us who seemed to come in the five and half feet models.  He was also a favourite amongst the girls and he had a terrible habit of letting us know this, though now thinking back I never actually saw him with one.

I wouldn’t say we were best friends, just friends that had muddled through school and play together for the last ten years, sometimes not seeing one another for several weeks, then for the next few weeks being inseparable, but like I say he was the guy I would like to have been if I wasn’t me.

Not that I wasn’t wanted amongst the girls in fact I was one of those guys in class that sort of got on with everybody. I was welcome in every group, whether they were the nerds, the unmanageables, the in-crowd or any one of the various girl groups (sorry I haven’t divided the girls into segments, but I could never really work out which was which as they forever changed, unlike the guys who tended to stay in the same groups all through high school).  Having said all this, I still had not achieved getting close to any girl in school as some of the guys had, not even a Christmas kiss.  I would be happy chatting away to the girls but any suggestion of romance, sexual encounters or the suchlike would have me making some excuse and a rapid exit.  What was wrong with me, I even had an opportunity when I was 15 with the school bike, she even unzipped my jeans, but I ran off and then started to worry why I had had no reaction other than fear.

Pete, who was actually standing beside me when this was all happening did nothing to help as he just ran away with me and then proceeded to roll around on the playing field we ended up on, laughing his head off.  I should have kicked him for making fun of me, but I just lay down beside him and looked up at the sky waiting for him to stop.

If only I had not run I might not now be wimping out and be in amongst the guys ready to do some sword play, admittedly in the thunder and lightning of the storm, but at least in the girls tents.

As it was I was just lying there watching the more adventurous guys, trying to see if Pete was amongst then and also wondering where my tent mate was, as he definitely wasn’t amongst the scouting party.

“Hi, move over I have to take my medicine”, it was Stuart, my tent mate.

“Why should I move you’ve got loads of room, just get in without dripping all over me and be quiet”, I moaned.

Stuart lifted the unzipped flap and flopped into the tent, “Sorry but you know I have to take my medicine within an hour after breakfast, anyway why have I got to be quiet, what you doing?”