Heads or Tails

one

 The dream repeats agian like it had the night before and the night before that. I was swimming in algae covered water. It was dark, the only source of light was a small opening where the moonlight spilled into the room and reflected across the water. I tried to get closer to the hole but the further i pushed the more the waves fought back. Dead at night, no sounds could be heard but the sounds of my heavy breathing as i struggled to keep my self up. My heavy breathing was replaced by gargling as the water rose higher and i sunk lower. It seemed the harder i fought, the faster i sunk. Then suddenly, everything was crystal clear, and all i saw were wide white eyes. I'd been losing sleep over those white eyes for months now. No matter what remedy i used, how much milk i drunk, I couldn't shake them.

I woke to find it was another day starting at 4am. There was no point in laying in the now sweat-soaked sheets. I wasnt going to be able to fall back asleep anyways. The green walls of the hallway loomed over me as i crept towards the bathroom and limb by limb exited my clothing and engrossed myself in the endless rhythm of the water. My body switched to autopilot as i went through my morning routine, the same process of actions i had executed every day for the past few months.

Back in my room, i searched for a familiar brown book. In its place i found only an old bottle of medication and a crumpled pass that had gotten me out of class the day before. A sigh took the place of constant breaths and a weight set in my chest. That small book held every weird thought that had ever danced through my mind, and if the wrong person were to obtain it then the small reputation i had managed to build would be completely destroyed.

I pushed the thought out of my mind and tied my ebony hair into a pony tail before heading to the kitchen where my mother welcomed me with a picture. In the picture stood a girl with familiar brown eyes surrounded by blurred and happy people, and in her hand a drink that was all to illegal. "I've never seen this before" I spoke through my teeth. Technically, i wasnt lying; I hadn't seen the actual photograph. I only vaguely remember it being taken saturday, somewhere in the midst of blaring music and giggling teenage girls.

"You've never seen this before? Really?" She was angry, cold peircing blue eyes daring me to lie to her. I shook my head no. The anger she was holding in was visible, her face scrunching as she tried her hardest not to scream. She took a few deep breaths, but she couldn't physically look at me without getting angry all over again.

"Go to school." She said as calmly as she could before walking out of the room and down the hallway. I followed her instructions, not in the right place to defy her, and grabbed my bag before heading out. I had just made it out the door, and I was already dreading coming home.

The sun hadn't fully risen yet, and a light pink glow filtered the normally light blue sky; wind drifted around me and through the trees. Suddenly, school seemed like the last place i wanted to be, but i went regardless. I approached the concrete prison with a smile on my face and made my rounds like i always had. On the walk home, Carter joined me. His light brown hair and cheeky smile lead me through town, and the dread of going home was quickly replaced with a gushing love for him.

He stopped me in front of the big pine tree by my house like he had done every day prior to this one. The sun shined directly behind him creating an angelic glow as he towered over me, but something wasn't right. Maybe the birds werent chirping as loudly or maybe the grass didnt look as green, or maybe i wanted it to be anything other than the look in his eyes that made this moment off.

"Rho, we need to talk..." His brown eyes bore sadly into my own while i could only stare dumbly back at him. We had talked; we talked during math when he reminded me about the homework, i'd laughed all during lunch at his endless jokes, and we'd talked the whole way to my house like everything was perfect.