I don't mean to drag you down

America -Logic

(A/N) this is so so so so so so so so so so over due. It's finally gonna have some romance AHHH get ready

Jack From sws not ATL point of view

"Sometimes wrong with me. I think people are noticing. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Here let me explain.

Yesterday while we were presenting our project I couldn't stop staring at him. Admiring him. He makes me nervous. I couldn't control my hands they wouldn't stop shaking. I messed up so many of the notes I thought I would've made us fail. In the end Mr.Gaskarth said the whole assignment was made up and just a way to get us to bond. I guess I bonded with him more than I should have. I'm not gay. I can't be. I mean yeah my parents are okay with gay and have a pride flag on their car but I don't know how to be gay ......correctly? I don't know , man. This is fucked up. The worst part is I will be the biggest fucking cliche ever. I'm a transgender popular male who is in love with the guy I am supposed to hate and bully. Yes I'm trans but only my parents know. We never talk about it only at doctor appointments . But really I...sometimes I just wonder...... Should I tell Tony I love him?"

Everything came spilling out. I couldn't stop it. Soony just sat there. Astonished. I guess I have more secrets than I thought. Soony is my best friend so he often lets me rant when he notices how mentally unstable I'm becoming. This time I really needed it.

" Look babe you probably chose the worst boy to fall in love with. It's not like I have any problems with Tony it's just that everyone else does. He's a really cool guy and I'm really happy for you. Maybe ask him out and keep it a secret?"

"I can't. I think he has a crush on that Jaime dude and Jaime likes him. They just don't go out yet."

  After I said that Soony just sat there. I think he either didn't know what to say or was too shocked to form a thought. My situation isn't an easy one to fix. I don't know if it does need fixing. I'm the problem in this situation. Don't people just cut the problem out of the situation. In this case the problem may end up cutting himself.

 
  I've thought about it before. I thought about it a lot. Cutting. Suicide. All of it. The details. The ways to do it. Where to do it. Why I would and could do it. I'm popular and the stereotype that popular people get is that they're mean and people who are happy all the time and judge other people. That stereotype isn't always correct.