Dictionary of thoughts

A- Annoyance

I get annoyed at the things that come in my way,
I get annoyed at the things that hold me back,
I get annoyed at the things that try to control me,
I get annoyed at myself,

It's tiring having so little to say at the times I need to speak up,
It hurts having to not be what others expect you to be,

How could you act so dumb,
Why can't you speak up,
What's holding you back,
Who are you so afraid of,
When are you going to learn to defend yourself,

Questions I hear everyday,
Curiosity of another about my well being,
They wanna know the answers to my most famous of questions,
They want to know and so do I,

Those questions have answers beyond my ability,
I know them but there hiding somewhere,
As if my brain is afraid of what will happen if I know the answer,
The questions aren't the problem it's the answers,

It's an answer to a problem that can be solved but never fixed,
A life lived with the only defense mechanism is the silent treatment,
Almost as if my ignoring will cause the problem to go away,

What ever happened to never scooping as low as the abuser,
Don't do to them what they've done to you,
But I guess the only way to strive is to adapt to this aggressive style,
Maybe that's the answer all along,

My problem is that I can't adapt to the aggressive behavior of others,
I'll never be sure what the answer is but it's as close to an answer I'll ever get.

Unfortunately the answer will never be to my liking,
Neither is the questions but that's what annoys me,
These questions define my lifestyle,
They define who I am as a person,
They define how people judge me,
It's annoying I can't answer those simple questions,

Its annoying how I annoy myself.