Beautiful Darkness

➵I Am a Paradox

"First up is Rosalina Vladimir. She is next in line to be queen of the covens. With no siblings to threaten the crown this fight secures her future entirely. I imagine she will be one of the most difficult to defeat." Ruelle begins. I slowly process the information. My first fight might be my last. Ruelle must see the doubt in my eyes.

"You will win. There is no room for self-doubt; we cannot afford it." I force myself to focus.

"What are her abilities? Does she have any known weaknesses or enemies?" Orion jumps in. He asks the questions I was summoning the courage to. I'm afraid of what the answers will be.

"Vervain would typically be used to weaken vampires. One of my sources tells me she has injected herself since a child to have immunity to the herb. Rosalina is no ordinary vampire. She is rumored to be one of the most powerful vampires to walk the earth."

"No pressure." I say under my breath.

"Her gifts include mind control, emotional manipulation, and speed along with agility. Advanced assassins have trained her in combat by her father's orders." Daniel inputs.

I chew on everything. Basically I have to fight one of the most advanced vampires in the species with an unfair amount of abilities. I don't even know where to begin on how to overcome her brutal strength. Vampires are the most manipulative and cunning of all the species in Hiraeth. 

Adding to the stressful situation, my own abilities are completely uncontrollable and reckless. If I can barely contain the destruction and rage I feel with strong emotions, how am I supposed to wield them in a fight?

"Is she involved with anyone? Does Rosaline have anybody in her life we could use to our advantage?" The sentence tastes bitter on my parched lips. This "gift" is already taking a toll on me physically and mentally. Three weeks ago I never would have even considered the types of violence I have planned for this fight.

"There is a lover, James Dudley. What they have is big and well-known. I can't help but advise you against any action you plan to take against him. If he is harmed or threatened in any way, I doubt we will get Rosalina's compliance after the battle. I may be crazy, but even I am not mental enough to interfere with that." Natalia answers. My decision still stands.

"Why do I have a feeling you completely disregarded everything she just said?" Orion looks down at me with knowing eyes. His frame stands leaning against the table I am sitting at. This position puts his chest at my eye-level. I give him an innocent smile.

"It is safe to say that I am extremely inexperienced with my gift. Before I can even begin to manage strategies against these experts, I need to train." My voice says without my permission. The last thing I want to do is truly find out the limits of the monstrosity inside of me.

"I agree." Roman finally steps into the conversation. Fear and uncertainty are blatantly written in my eyes. Can he see it?

"Let us train now. We don't have the luxury of time to wait any longer." He orders more than asking for permission. I hesitantly stand and follow the group outside of the inn. A wooded area lies directly behind it as we stumble through the branches of low trees. Upon arrival the nerves buzzing throughout me surface. Roman and I make our way to the middle and stand directly across from each other as the remaining people gather around to observe a safe distance away.

"Describe it to me." I give him a weary look. A deep breath consumes my lungs before I will myself to reveal my deepest insecurities.

"It's like a switch. One minute it's off, and I'm normal. And the next... flood gates of evil and horrid thoughts are pouring into me as easy as if I were merely thinking about the clouds. I become a different person, thing, that can't comprehend consequences or the repercussions of my actions. Nothing holds me back excluding the very faint sound of my real voice. The darkness strums my pain with its fingers as it takes my life with its song, killing me softly." The overhaul of pent up emotions spills out before it can be contained. Roman's eyes have softened as he scratches the surface of the inner turmoil within me.