Sex // Emilio Martinez

4

"There were four boys. The first boy to ever break my heart was my father." she says

//

"Jesus I don't even know where to start" Scarlett awkwardly says. Even though she was drunk revealing this information was hard, she had never been this deep with someone before.

"I guess I'll start from when I was a baby. I don't remember, obviously but he was a little crazy. From what I was told he used to beat my mom a lot. One time he broke her nose, and he would just slap her around a bunch. Other times it was worse, once threatened her with a knife while I was still in her arms. He was in and out of jail constantly, but I remember vividly when I was about 7 my mom and Dan told me he was in Texas. Texas was actually code for jail but I wouldn't find that out until later. Anyways he was supposed to be coming to visit from the supposed Texas, and we picked him up on some random street in L.A. Even my 7 year old brain thought it was odd we weren't picking him up from the airport, but it was okay I was just happy to see my dad; I wasn't going to question it. He brought me this night dress with a bunch of Disney princesses on it and he told me it was because I was his princess. 'Princesses for my princess' he said. I remember laying in bed with him watching T.V and just being so happy. I was so happy to have a dad again, to be a normal kid with both of my parents. That fantasy didn't last long because the next day he was gone and I was completely heart broken. I didn't understand anything. I didn't know if it was because of me, if I did anything wrong. All I did that day was cry into my moms lap. It turns out he was getting money from my mom and when he got it, that was it he was done with Dan and I and he left again. I don't remember what my mom told me when I was 7 but I'm guessing she just told me he went back to Texas. Fast forward two years, my dad was back in jail and I was still completely unaware that he was in jail. My mom wanted full custody of my brother and I so we all went to court. Literally right before we got into the court room she looked at me and said 'Scarlett there's something Dan and I need to tell you.' And so she told me that he had been in and out of jail for years, and that the whole Texas thing was one big lie. I remember just being so confused and speechless I couldn't really process through my head what she said. It didn't register through my brain until I saw a cop guiding him in all chained up. There was my dad, who I thought was living in Texas for years all chained up. He was actually living in jail 30 minutes away. I couldn't even look at him. The whole car ride home I was so hurt and I was asking them why they would lie to me about something like this. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive my mom for that."

Scarlett stopped when she felt her throat burn and a tear roll down her cheek. She gasped for air trying her best not to cry while Emilio wiped away her tear.

"I'm sorry this is just a lot harder than I thought it would be." Scarlett says forcing out a laugh.

"It's okay." Emilio responds

Emilio knew he would never be able to understand what she went through, but he knew he had to listen. He knew he had to be there for her, even though everything she said was hurting him too.

"Throughout my life he's tried to come back into my life. It was never consistent though. The last time was when I was 15, but I had finally grown a backbone then and I just told him to fuck off. It hurt me doing that even though he's been hurting me for 15 years. I don't know if I regret it or not. Regardless, he was the first one to show me that boys don't stay. That they don't love you, he was the first one to ever break my heart."

"I'm so sorry" Emilio says. Emilio couldn't understand how someone could hurt someone like Scarlett. She was so pure and real. She was different.

"It's not your fault."

"That doesn't mean I can't be sorry." He says softly

"Yeah." Scarlett gulps looking down

"And the others?"

"The second boy to break my heart was Dan, my brother and he was by far the worst of them all. I'm drunk but I'm not drunk enough to tell that story. That's a story for another day Emilio."

Emilio wanted to know so much more. He wanted to know everything about Scarlett the good and the bad but he also understood that the things she's been through are hard and that they're hard to talk about. Hell, its hard for Scarlett to even admit to her pain when she stubs her toe, and this was so much worse.

"I need a fucking cigarette." Scarlett says jumping out of Emilio's bed and walking to the balcony where she lit her cigarette.