What is love?

Chapter 1

Monterey, California.

I lay in bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, the weight of the impending day pressing down on me like a heavy blanket. The morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow over my room. I picked at the cracking skin on my fingers, as I remained cocooned in my thoughts.

The shrill beeping of my alarm clock shattered the silence, yanking me from my thoughts. With a groan, I fumbled for the snooze button, the harsh red digital numbers displayed the time – 6:00 AM. The first day of high school loomed ahead, a daunting milestone I couldn't escape.

Throwing back the covers, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My room, felt suffocatingly familiar yet strangely foreign in the early morning light as Id gotten used to sleeping in during the summer.

Great, another year of hell. I muttered with a roll of my eyes.

As I stood up, and was slowly making my way to bathroom, my gaze drifted to the framed photograph on my bedside table – a picture of my 5-year-old self just a couple days after my birthday party at Grandma Delaines. Capturing a moment of innocence, I could scarcely remember. A pang of nostalgia washed over me, mingling with the anxiety that coiled in the pit of my stomach.

I released another sigh as I placed the toothpaste on the toothbrush. Toothpaste foam clung to the corners of my mouth as I brushed my teeth, the monotonous task a welcome distraction from the whirlwind of emotions churning within me.

"Im alive... Im alive... Im alive..." I sang softly as I showered.

I stepped out of the shower feeling fresh and ready for the rest of my first day of high school. As I was drying myself, still humming to my favourite song Alive by Sia, I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Good morning, Tessa." I heard my mom say.

"Good morning mom."

"Hurry and get dressed, breakfast's ready and we need to get going."

"OK mom, I'll be down is a sec."

I grabbed a planned outfit from my closet– a stark white t-shirt and a pleated skirt – I grabbed my sneakers and some socks from my draw and studied my reflection in the mirror. The girl staring back at me seemed like a stranger, her expression a mask of patience hiding the vulnerability I couldn't shake.

I descended the stairs, the weight of the day's expectations hanging heavy in the air.

In the kitchen everyone was seated at the island.

"Good morning," I greeted as I took my seat.

"Morning," Dad replied, taking a sip of his morning coffee.

"Morning," Jason chimed in with his mouth full of food. I shot him a disapproving look and shook my head.

Mom placed a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me. "Thank you," I say as I poured myself a glass of soy milk. Anything else and my eczema would be on me like white on rice.

"Your first day of high school, Tessa,"Mom's voice filled with excitement as a proud look washed over her face.

"Yeah, Cubby, are you ready for the best years of your life?" Dad asked.

I cringed at my childhood nickname but took a bite of bacon and toast before replying.

"I think you mean worst years, Dad. And what is there to look forward to? It's the same kids, just older and lamer."

"Well, I had some great years in high school, and so did your mom," Dad countered.

"Trust me, Tessa, you'll enjoy high school," Mom chimed in, sipping her orange juice.