Match Your Weakness With A Name

Twenty-Two?

G: I don't know. Do you like boys and only boys?

D: I like one boy.

G: Do you also like girls?

D: Yeah, I think so.

G: Then you're not gay.

D: But I like a boy.

G: You're only gay if you don't like girls at all, just boys.

D: I get it now. Thanks.

G: Any time.

I set my phone down and burst out laughing. Of course that would be Derek's burning question. God, he's such a fuckboy it's almost comical at times; I can't help but allow his suffering to warm my cold, dead heart.

He doesn't respond, and I wonder if he's gone to tell Ryan that he's not gay. Probably. I grin and tell myself I should get up and do something.

Three hours of Legend of Zelda later, I go and check my phone again. Derek's messaged me again.

D: I like guys.

I spend an inappropriately long time pondering what I should say to that.

G: Me too.

D: Dude, I'm trying to come out.

G: Oh.

D: So I like guys and girls and Ryan and I are together.

G: I know.

D: Wait, how?

G: I pay attention. Congratulations on your self-discovery!

D: Is there a name for it?

G: For what?

D: You know, liking guys and girls.

G: You're bisexual. It's sometimes called bi for short.

D: Honestly, thank you so much.

G: You're seriously welcome.

I have a moderately nice rest of the day playing video games and basically just being a massive geek.

And that's pretty much all I do the day after, too, at least until I have to go be a receptionist in the pool office with Jenna. Because she's Jenna, she's there twenty minutes early, already almost halfway through a massive stack of papers. "Hey, Geoff."

"Hello," I say, taking my seat in the chair of dishonor by the phone.

"So," she says, not looking up, "how's it going?"

"Uh, alright, you?"

"I'm doing well." She straightens out her stack of paper. "I got a promotion. I'm the office manager now."

"Cool! What do you do?"

"Exactly the same thing as before, but with a cooler name." She smiles and puts her paper back in its drawer.

I nod. "I see."

"It also means that if someone who calls asks for the manager, you can give them me and you wouldn't be wrong." She takes out another stack of paper. "That's a bonus for you, I guess."

"Hell yeah, it's a bonus for me," I say, half a second before the phone rings.

I roll my eyes and answer it. It's an elderly man asking for someone named Barbara Elvinshlockgeimer.