Speak

Chapter 14

Another nightmare seemed to haunt me. I hadn't noticed at first, at first I thought it had been real. Only this time, when I was awoken I felt my sweat in beads, dripping slowly down my cheek. However, I was soon to come to realization it wasn't perspiration. It was a tear. I was crying and I wasn't in my bed this time. I was in a car. Adam's car.

I had fallen asleep in Adam's passenger side seat. It didn't take long for me to regret it either.

My brown eyes surveyed the area around the still moving vehicle, noticing the thickly dense trees. We were in a forest and I knew there wasn't such anywhere close to our hometown. Not close to my real bed either, in simplest terms.

Upon noticing my sudden alertness, I listened as he chuckled softly. For a minute I hinted that same crude attitude from the previous and latest shared moments. "I thought you'd never wake up." He spoke, only this time it wasn't mocking.

Adam sounded sincere. He sounded like he cared.

"I didn't just have Jake pick you up to take you to my game.." The brunette began to explain, the starting making my stomach flip in an uncomfortable manner. I couldn't help but think of the different ways he'd always talked to me. Sadness. Anger. Determination. Care. Sympathy.

Empathy.

My gaze settled firmly on his figure, only the outline of his body shown in the darkness. The only light came from the glare of the electronic radio system and the moon beyond the glass, metal, and rubber of the moving contraption. I took notice to the way the radio was turned down lower in volume than prior. He'd lowered it when I'd fallen into slumber.

"I wanted to take you somewhere so I could explain exactly why you frustrate me so much..." There was a pause. One that left my eyes study so intently on him his own moved in a hesitant look towards my own. "-and also why I'm attracted to you so much."

This after he'd blankly ignored me for an entire week.

"I'm taking you to meet my mom." Adam stated, making me clench my fingers. I was wearing practically tights and a literally a sweatshirt from the school store I had bought for exactly ten dollars. In my terms I wasn't, per say, dressed for the occasion. Without my flats or dress or skirt I almost felt naked. Not like it'd make a difference Adam himself was still wearing his football attire and cheeks were still flushed.

The anger was evident, my eyebrows creasing together. "You're taking me home right now." I signed firmly, causing him to shake his head in denial. I knew he wasn't saying no to me, was he? He was. My fire burned a fragment brighter, making my fingers tighten as I repeated the phrase. I'd grown good at maintaining my temper when I stopped speaking. Now it all seemed to pull apart as the threads of cheap yarn.

He wore a smirk that made me want to puke.

"I'm not turning around now. It's been a hour and were almost there." Adam explained, eyebrows raised as he spoke only to settle into a concentrated expression. A part of me settled into the memory of my dad reminding me of the driver's test I should've taken but never did. I was scheduled for it two days after his death.

No matter how much my mom had begged me to go, insisting it was important to high school freedom (especially as a junior) it had reminded me to much of my deceased parent. Maybe he could teach me. I pushed the thought away. His nice demeanor, his nice facade was playing with my mind. Twisting images and making my prior assumptions become merely second guesses. My brown eyes settled menacingly down on him.

"Take me home or I'll text my brother." I signed in threat, though Adam shook his head.
" Why don't you just call?" The pause was evident. The snarl was clear. Silence echoed through the suddenly suffocating car.

He shook his head but it didn't help take away the once bliss that I had felt and in return a sinking hollow feeling. My teeth chewed on my bottom lip with a naked feeling. This was terrible. This was the Adam I knew. The confident, cocky and condescending jerk. I cursed silently to myself. Silently. He wasn't worth my breaking. I wasn't giving him such satisfaction in that moment.

"I'm sorry..." Adam then muttered, though didn't receive a response. I knew him well enough that he wouldn't argue me any further so with a frown I reached with my hand to turn the dial on the radio to a more maximized volume. Maybe it'd be possible to drown out my undying and judgmental thoughts revolving around him.

For the rest of the ride I ignored him.

Arriving there was another story. Within the last five minutes the mood changed and as he warned me I found myself feeling guilty. Maybe he really was just being nice. However, the way in which he had spoken to me was unforgiven. He couldn't just break me down, apologize and expect me to be mended. Maybe the complete problem in the picture was that I didn't necessarily want to be fixed. I wasn't a doll chipped of a nose or few fingers.

I was a human being that deserved his respect. I was human. I deserved to be treated like a human to him. Not some speechless girl he could push around. Is that what he felt of me as?

"I really can't let you be mad at me."
-"So you're going to magically take away my abilities." My fingers motioned, a complete sign and definite example of my immaturity. Of my lack of acceptance towards him. Pulling into the driveway finally I thought otherwise. This was after all his family. When he turned to me, I knew he could read my mind in that moment.

"You're ridiculous." He laughed upon realization when his eyes simply studied my face. My sweatshirt was light and he shrugged off his varsity coat, slipping it over my thin shoulders. His smile was evident. It was a moment. A moment in which made me trust him.

Sure, I was a bit ridiculous. Sure, I was a bit bipolar and confused with what to do with my feelings towards the boy in front of me. And sure, I was sixteen years old with a school girl crush on an eighteen year old boy I could never have. But in that moment I felt sure, absolutely sure, that I was a foolish teenager who was hoping that maybe Adam would see what I saw in him.

Even with all that I was about to endure.

*****
A bit shorter than usual. Oops. I just had to get this up soon. It was sort of like a filler chapter for the next which is going to be ten times more interesting. Trust me. There's a lot that's about to happen and fourteen chapters in something should happen soon or this book is going to last me sixteen years. Haha.

-S.A.