Hot Little Ponies

A Small Confession •NezuShi

Nezumi wasn’t entirely sure what it was that he was feeling a deep emotion was coursing through him as his eyes stared fixedly at the snow white haired male before him. The other male was sitting quietly on his bed with an old book in his hands, every few moments he would shift and turn a page, Shion, the albino across the room from Nezumi, had already acknowledged the other boy and greeted him rather…warm fully?

He always did, he was always so happy to see Nezumi or to even hear him coming home. Nezumi imagined that Shion would get bored or lonely all by himself, that’s why he had him work for Inukashi! –But that had done nothing to these feelings he expressed.

Shouldn’t he be embarrassed by this behavior?

“Nezumi, you look rather bothered, are you alright?”

Nezumi gasped and quickly fell back a step; he had been so deeply in thought that he hadn’t notice Shion step up right in front of him. This was really bad, the feeling of unease and warmth strengthened in Nezumi’s chest and a faint fluttering was definitely in his stomach.

This…This ‘blindness’ he showed towards Shion’s actions was dangerous; he was oblivious to almost everything the other did and that wasn’t right at all. He’d never ever act like this before anyone else! –He’d always be on the lookout…no one could ever get in this position with him.

Shion drew forward with his arm and Nezumi slapped it away, “Don’t!” He hissed, he regretting even looking back up at Shion, the other’s confused expression brought a grimace to his lips and a horrid feeling sunk in immediately afterwards.

He had hit him…And he could tell that he had hurt Shion’s feelings.

Pitiful.

Pathetic.

Nezumi shut out that thought; no matter how much he repeated the word to Shion’s face it wasn’t true. He had begun pathetic, this was no lie, but now the other had grown to be quite a strong man, both physically and mentally…Being outside on No.6 had done him well…This was one of the things worrying Nezumi as Shion got older he would rely on Nezumi less.

The thought troubled him, Nezumi was not dependent, he did not need anyone…

The thought of being without Shion made him extremely uneasy.

Shion had retreated back behind the shelves, probably returning the book and also probably trying to avoid Nezumi while he was in his ‘mood.’ Nezumi followed suit of the other, he hung around at the corner of the book shelves and listened closely to Shion’s faint steps, the fluttering intensified as he regretted his decision to smack Shion’s comforting hand away once more…

Why had I done that?

“Shion?” It was merely a whisper; he was half hoping the boy would not even hear him, but Shion’s kind expression soon appeared peering around the edge of the same bookshelf, he narrowed his red eyes slightly and seemed to examine Nezumi for a time, when Nezumi said no more he spoke.

“Yes?”

Nezumi’s Adam’s apple bobbed, his grey eyes closed momentarily as he tried to think of how to word this without it really sounding as an apology, before he could stop it he blurted, “Sorry.” It sounded small and pathetic, almost as if it were a whimper.

Shion’s hand caressed Nezumi’s cheek, “What for? Nezumi, this is unlike you.” When Nezumi had looked back at Shion he was sort of smirking and smiling at the same time, Nezumi’s own lips twitched upward at the corner, “Apologizing to me, I understand you’re probably just troubled.” Before Nezumi could shove him away Shion had lightly touched Nezumi’s lips with his own, “But, all is forgiven.” Shion chuckled slightly and stepped around to the small pot resting over a fire in the corner, “Are you hungry? That why you’re cranky?”

Nezumi suddenly became aware of a slight hollow feeling in his stomach, “Alright.”

Nezumi said nothing more to Shion that night, he found himself awake for the night, watching Shion sleeping beside him as he thought over and over of the words the other had said and the feelings that had flared up as Shion kissed him.

He replayed the scene over and over; his heart gave a tight squeeze every time.

Nezumi repressed a frustrated growl from escaping him.

He realized what this weakness was.