mental overload

VII

how can i explain
that i feel nothing
when
i manage to cry looking at a picture of a star
yet when you walked away all i managed was a shrug

how
if the people that say are with me
look at me with a condescendent expression
when i say that i feel like a sociopath
so how am i supposed to feel

and no one understands
because it seems i have managed to pretend feeling
too long
way too long
but i want to give up
but
it is impossible
because i have been this way too long
far too long

long gone

can you help me?

i've fallen down
the goddamned wishing well again
and i know
and it's worse
'cause you're not here anymore
and you won't be able to lift me up
once more

am i meant to be here?

or is every one right?
what if i'm wrong?
what if it's true and i'm making it all up?
i'm sure mental problems are easy to fake
but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way

is it true?
am i dead?
is it true that it's
all in my head?

am i dumb?
am i sick?
am i done?
am i lost?
who is "i"?
who is "you"?
can you help?





.....most importantly,
would you?