The World According to Lily: Lily's Not-So-Happy New Year (#1)

A Guide to Lily's Lingo (Irish slang guide)

 Amadán – (pronounced 'amma-dawn') The Irish word for 'idiot'. There are many Irish slang terms meaning the English word 'idiot', probably because there are so many of these idiots living in Ireland.

The Awkward Turtle – A hand movement where you put one hand on top of another and spin your thumbs forward, representing a turtle. You use this hand gesture in awkward moments. For example, if you're having a conversation and nobody talks for more than five seconds. Or if someone waves at you put they're actually waving at the person behind you. Or maybe even if you're in a seriously complicated love triangle with the most popular/attractive girl in your school and the most sought after boy in the country. And you have zero chance of winning.

Banjaxed – Broken, damaged, cannot be fixed

Banter- Chatter, enjoyment

Beour – A very physically attractive or pretty girl. I know that sounded a bit on the lezzie side, but that's what it means. Accept it.

Blaa – Ah. One of the many delicacies in the southeast of this mad little isle. It's basically a soft bread bun that's sprinkled with flour. It can be eaten with butter, crisps, whatever you want, really. Many people mistake it for the word 'bra', including Ryan. One time, he asked a shopkeeper at the local bakery for a 'bra'. The baker just stood there wondering what the hell an eight-year-old boy would want a bra for.

Camogie – The female equivalent of hurling, a popular sport in Ireland. I don't know why they had to change the name just because the opposite gender is playing it. It sounds a little bit sexist, when you think about it,

Craic – (pronounced 'crack') This word originated from the Irish language and is now considered spoken English in Ireland. It has a couple of meanings: 1) can mean fun, enjoyment or banter, 2) Gossip or news, 3) can be used as a catchphrase, like "what's the craic?" or "how's the craic?"

Crapola – Said when something unfortunate or bad happens.

.CSPE - Civil Social Political Education. It's this subject where you learn about citizenship and democracy and all that. This should give some sort of idea of how hilariously crap this subject is.

The Dáil – (pronounced 'dawl') The Irish Parliament. They meet in Leinster House, which is like the Irish version of the Houses of Commons. It is the place where politicians are supposed  to be discussing how we're all going to get out of this recession, but instead use it as a place to roar abuse at each other and do absolutely damn all. It's quite funny to watch on TV, actually.

Deadly – Cool, trendy or brilliant

The Den – A firm fixture al all Irish people's childhood. It used to be on RTÉ when the children came home from school. They aired children's TV programmes like 'Power Rangers' and 'Hi-5'.

Dustin the Turkey – A puppet who was on 'The Den'. He represented us in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2008, making Ireland the first country to enter a puppet in the contest. We may not have won it, but still.

Eejit – An idiot, a fool.

Effin' and Blindin' – Cursing and roaring abuse, my grandmother's favourite pastime.

The Eurovision Song Contest - A yearly competition which should really be named "Which Country Can Make The Biggest Show Of Themselves On Live Television?". If you listen to any of the songs featured in it, you will probably die of overexsposure to unbelievably crappy music. You have been warned.

Father Ted - The Greatest and Best Sitcom ever to grace Irish television. Ever. It went from 1995 to 1998. It's about three priests who live on a fictional island off the west coast of Ireland called Craggy Island. Look it up on YouTube, but please wear headphones.