It was more than a Dream

4

//TRIGGER WARNINGS: suicidal thoughts and actions, blood, needles. Please do not read if you will be triggered.\\

PHIL

My chest ached.

My eyes stung.

My world.

My life.

My Dan.

It was all gone.

Just like that.

Something dark seeped through me as I suppressed my sobs. I couldn't let Dan see me cry. I knew it upset him.

Or did it?

Did I really know Dan anymore? How could I if it was all a dream?

My heart was gone. I suddenly felt vastly empty. My soul disconnected. I sat for a moment, staring at the IV in my hand.

Something inside me snapped. It couldn't have been my heart, because that shattered the moment Dan told me it had all been a dream.

It felt deeper.

Farther inside me.

Suddenly I knew.

I was angry.

Angry at the IV. Angry at every tube and machine I was connected to. The heart monitor. Every beep from it mocked me. hurt me.
"P-pull the plug, D-dan." I cried. My own words shocked me. But I meant it. I had no reason to continue. My life was already gone- so why was I still here? Everything I knew was gone. The Dan I knew was gone. Hell, the Phil I knew was gone.
"Please. W-whatever you g-guys are doing to k-keep me alive.. stop it... please." I begged. I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. He was silent. If he was anything like the Dan I knew, he would try to talk me out of it.
"No, Phil, Why would I-"
"Please!" I shouted suddenly, pain tearing through my throat. I dissolved into a sobbing fit. I knew Dan wouldn't do what I was telling him to.

I would have to do It myself.

I had to get out of here. This life. If I had dreamed my life I'd dream it again. Forever this time.

It was hard to move my frail arms, but I managed to. I pulled off the device on my finger and let it drop to the floor with a clatter.
"Phil!"
His voice broke my heart further. Not so much the pain and surprise in his voice. But the fact that I knew the voice so well, and the boy who belonged to it was suddenly a complete stranger. I did my best to ignore him and push his arms away. I gripped the tube comming out of my IV and yanked as hard as I could. I felt my skin tear as the needle was forced the wrong way out of my arm. I gasped in pain, crying harder.
The beeping of the heart monitor sped up and I let my hands feel around my torso for tubes and wires. I pulled on whatever I could get my hands on. Pain signals shot up from everywhere and there was suddenly blood.

A lot of blood.

Blood and darkness spattered my vision.

I cried out as Dan finally managed to grab me by the wrists. I couldn't move anymore. He was shouting something. whether it was to me, or someone else, I had no idea. He sounded muffled and my head suddenly drooped to the side. I lost feeling in my chest and the last thing i heard
was the flat line of the heart monitor.