Goodbye Internet

Part 3

He took one last look in the mirror and decided he'd wake Emily up then make them both pancakes. He walked down the hall to Emily's room, opened the door and didn't even try to fake a smile, she had to find out sooner or later. He walked in and she was sat their brushing her hair, she may be 7 but she isn't stupid. Phil just stood there silently trying to figure out what he should say to her. How do you tell a 11 year old that her father had a disease she doesn't understand?
"Hi Dad, did you tell Sam you were making pancakes?" Her voice broke his train of thought and he decided he had to tell her now, he stumbled a bit but he said enough.
"Uhm, yes I am but we need to talk first. It's about Father" he made a start he just had finish it, "he isn't coming back home but you'll get to say good bye to him one last time this afternoon after school". He put it as simple as he could but he knew she'd ask questions about it anyway there was no doubt about that. She looked around confused for a couple seconds then finally said
"Will I be able to see him tomorrow too or is that it?"
"no, just today after school. You can talk to him whenever but he won't be able to talk back" he tried to keep his tears in but he couldn't keep them in much longer.
"Where did he go? What happened?" These were the two questions Phil didn't want her to ask but he couldn't ignore her, she had to know. It was her Father after all.
"He became very ill but he didn't want to worry you. You see Father had an illness called cancer and he had to go to doctors all the time for help but it wasn't working. He couldn't sleep." He couldn't bear to tell her what happened next but he had to, a tear began to roll down his cheek as he continued. "But now he can finally rest alone. His illness won and took him away from us and I'm sorry but he won't be back." It didn't seem to sink in but he couldn't carry on, he turned to walk out of the door when he heard her say "did father die?" he nodded and walked away. He couldn't tell her the disease wasn't what killed him, cancer just lead him to it. It was suicide that killed him.

He went into his room and took some black jeans out of his wardrobe, Dan's red flannel shirt, and Dan's grey hoodie with the horns from their 2016 Halloween baking video; threw them on then ran down stairs. When he got down there he was met with Sam crying at the table, he walked over to him and went to sit next to him but Sam mumbled "don't worry dad, make the pancakes first" without even looking up, Phil debated comforting his son or making pancakes. He hesitated for a moment then nodded and shuffled over to the fridge to take out the eggs, milk, and butter then over to the cupboards to get the flour, scales, and mixing bowl. It wouldn't be the same with out Dan here because Dan made it fun but now he had to do this to show Dan he'd be able to cope.