Goodbye Internet

Part 8 - The Note For Them

Phil walked up to the front and got the piece of paper out of his pocket, his hands were shaking as he remembered what he was holding, Dan's suicide note. He started shaking, "so, uh, Dan was an amazing friend and an even better boyfriend and father. He protected Sam and Emily whenever he could, he even protected them from his illness. I began noticing that he wasn't sleeping a lot and he seemed to be sinking back into depression. I didn't know it would end up like this, none of us did. It was the biggest shock when I walked into our bathroom after taking our children to school and saw him there, in the bath. He had the word 'perfect' carved into his arm, I didn't know what to do, he was already gone, I saw the empty whisky and pill bottle on the floor. I just collapsed on the floor crying. My boy had been taken away from me because he couldn't take it anymore." tears started dripping down his face. "I didn't know what to do so I called the police, while they were on the way, I cleaned myself up and I found his notes by the sink. One for me, one for Sam, one for Emily, one for you guys, and one for the internet. The one for you had 'read this at my funeral' written on the back. So, here goes. "I am Daniel James Howell,
I am so sorry, I couldn't take it anymore. I was depressed and I just wanted to end it all. I would fake happiness but I couldn't lie to the people I love anymore. I know I could have got help but I didn't see the point, I was dying. I didn't know what to do, I guess this was the easiest way. I'm sorry, I truly am. I want you all to know it isn't your fault, none of you. You made me laugh all the time and made every last day the best you could. Please don't follow me, I don't want any of you to follow me yet, you all have a long time left. I was simply born in the wrong place and in the wrong time, I was a mess and you all deserved better. I'm sorry, I love you all. I wish it didn't have to end like this, thank you all for being here for me. I was Daniel James Howell, thank you for being part of my life.
           -Dan"
Phil paused as he realised what he just read, he looked up with tears streaming down his face, "that was Dan's suicide note". Everyone was crying, Phil looked around, his eyes searching for Sam and Emily. He found them, Emily was crying uncontrollably while hugging Louise and Sam was looking down, his hair covering his face. Phil turned to the reverend who was wiping a tear from his eye. "I loved Dan, we all did, we will all continue to love him. He was taken too soon." he looked at the coffin where his boyfriend lay, "I got you this Dan, I was going to give it to you today, it's October 19th. I wish you were still here to see this." He took a small box out from his pocket, "You took my breath away when i first saw you, I thought it would only be fair if you took my last name too. Now you're gone. I love you Dan." He stepped down and went over to Dan's casket and slipped the ring onto his cold finger. "I asked you to marry me on October 1st, you said yes. I told you I would give you the ring and we would get married on October 19th, we said we would tell everyone then, it would mark 8 years of friendship and our marriage. We were meant to be married today, I will love you forever Daniel James Lester", as he said this he closed the casket for the last time.