Goodbye Internet

Part 12 - Goodbye Internet

This was it. He began to walk upstairs to the gaming room but he gave up halfway and decided to get his laptop out of the living room and just sat on the floor, he knew Dan's password so it was fine for him to be able to do it on a different device. He opened it up and began to speak:

"Hi guys, so neither of us have uploaded in quite a while and I think it's time for an explanation. I suggest you get some tissues or whatever and don't watch this in public, please. I wish I didn't have to make this video. But before I tell you the worst part, I do have some sort of good news... wow, this is uh - crazy to think that I'm about to say this online. But here we go, me and Dan, are married. Yeah, wow, that feels so great to say to you guys. We are now Phillip Michael Lester and Daniel James Lester. Now, I guess you're probably wondering why Dan isn't here to deliver this news with me. I am sorry to say that, that is the point of the next half of this video. So, here goes. A few days ago, Dan, uhm, Dan ended his um, he ended his life." His voice cracked as tears began to form. "I'm not going to edit this video so I'm sorry for how bad of a mess I'm going to look in this video. I'm making this video for closure for you guys so you know what has happened but also because Dan wrote a suicide note for you guys and wanted me to make this video for you. It is currently 9pm and we got home from his funeral 5 hours ago. I am now going to read the note Dan left you guys. Please, excuse my tears." He looked down as a tear fell from his face into his lap and he fiddled around with the piece of paper in his hands. "Here goes" he whispered as he opened the note. "So, Dan's note. wow, I never thought I would be doing this guys. I'm gonna stop stalling now and get it done. So, 'Hey guys, it's Dan. I don't know if Phil told you or if he is just reading this but I took my own life. and I'm so sorry that I left you guys and that I didn't get to meet all of you before depression took over my mind and body. I know this will effect most of you really bad but please, don't hurt yourselves over me and certainly don't end your own lives because of this. I love every single one of you watching this video right now, please don't ever forget that. Just because I am gone doesn't mean you need to leave too. Please don't give up hope, ever. You hear me guys? I need each of you to stay alive because you guys are going to be the ones that help change the world and point it in the right direction. The world needs you. Every single one of you is loved, I need you all to remember that. And, I know I'm a hypocrite for saying this but you guys need to believe that it gets better. Maybe not tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year.'  Wow, he uh, he wrote a poem? a paragraph? I'm not entirely sure but I think it's his way of saying you guys should stay so lets go on: 'Don't. Don't kill yourself today because no one will finish the tub of ice cream in the freezer. Don't kill yourself until Doctor Who is finally cancelled. Don't kill yourself until you give someone the best cake recipe you have ever had. Don't kill yourself because I have an endless list of reasons why you shouldn't kill yourself and I wish you could hear them all. Please, don't kill yourself. I love you. You're important. It is a bad week not a bad life and there's more to this. Think of all the sun rises you will miss, all the following sunsets. Think of all the celebrity twitter fights and all the puppies you will never get to see. I know this sounds pointless when you are sitting in front of everything dangerous you own and rehearsing your final goodbyes. There will be too much darkness to see anything else, but then again, this isn't about seeing anything else. This is about turning off the lights. It's about looking for the bed sheets instead of the noose or blades or pills or anything potentially dangerous. This is about waking up and saying 'one more day'. Even if it takes 10,000 'one more days' before you get to 'I can not wait for tomorrow'. So please, don't kill yourself' Uhm, wow, that... was a lot to take in. There isn't much left so I'm gonna try get through this last bit without interrupting. Where was I? oh yeah, okay, let's go. "Guys, please, don't do anything stupid like I did. If you are ever in a dark spot, please, re-watch this video if you have to. Just don't end up like me. You will hurt more people than you realise. Your parents won't know how to cope with it, your siblings will wake up every morning praying you are just asleep and it was all a bad dream. Your head teacher will announce your death in your school assembly and your best friend will run out screaming as she wishes you were still there beside them as everyone who said something horrible to you wishes they had never said anything stupid to you. Your dog will lay there at night at the front door waiting for you to come home and give them hugs but that day never comes. So please, don't hurt yourself. You are needed and you are loved. But this is the last video that will ever be posted on this channel at my will.' It's almost the end now." Phil looked down as tears flooded out of his eyes. He slowly looked up and the tears rushed down his face as he prepared himself to say the end of the note. "uh, there are two lines left and then I am going to end the video. I love you guys and so did Dan so here we go, he says 'So this is it, my name is Daniel James Lester.' I'm uh, guessing I am meant to do this at the same time" He said as he imitated the square brackets from Dan's first video. "Now just 2 more words before I shut this camera off and hit upload: 'Goodbye Internet'".