The Bounty

Nine

I paced around the living room. It was already getting dark and I haven’t heard a word from Alex. Now that I knew about him and the experiments, I felt even more worried. What if Alex really was trouble?
After a few more minutes, I decided to lie down. I didn’t even have his number. And I didn’t know in which hotel he was staying.
As I stared at the ceiling my thoughts wandered to the events that had occurred in the past two weeks. Tomorrow I have to pick up my mother’s ashes and as I promised her I would, I will throw her ashes in the water at our favourite spot.
I decided not to worry about Alex. He would be safe and if he left me, it would be for the better. I still didn’t like the idea of falling for him, or anyone.
I kept wondering if Alex might have found out about me and that that was the reason why he disappeared. For some strange reason the thought of Alex knowing about my job didn’t scare me, instead it filled me with shame and some regret.
The apartment was so quiet. Before I met Alex the apartment was kept alive by Lucifer and then Alex basically lived here. Before now I haven’t really noticed how alone I actually was. I had no friends and no family. With this realization I could put a name to the aching feeling that haunted me since my mom got sick. It was loneliness.
Images of the experiments filled my head. I wondered how many people were out there who was just like me. I started wondering about my own past. I have no memory of ever being in a lab or being experimented on. I had a happy childhood with my mom and our dog, Buddy. I always found it strange that I had no baby photos, but my mom wasn’t very sentimental.
As my mind kept wandering to the multiple reasons why Alex wasn’t here, I slowly drifted to sleep.