Previously Strangers (TFIL/Sam and Colby)

Chapter Four

I'd rather spare you from my experience in the hospital, so I'll simply say this: It was three days of pure Hell. Whether it was the nurses or the doctors or Elton and his friends, there was always someone at my bedside. It was nice the first few days, knowing they were all concerned for my well being after the whole 'peanut fiasco', but when you've not showered for three days and the only thing you're getting to eat is liquid protein and minerals from the Goddamned feeding tube they shoved up your nose, you don't really feel like visitors.

It wasn't until the following Wednesday that I finally returned to the house. Elton still wouldn't leave me alone. So, I was curled up on the couch with Sam's favorite blanket and, for some reason, watching SpongeBob. Corey sat next to me, picking at his fingernails and Sam was editing a video on the floor across from us. Colby and Elton were sitting in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to work my feeding tube without the doctors. I occasionally glanced over at them, noticing that each time Elton was getting more and more frustrated. Sighing, I threw the blanket off of me and swung my feet off the couch. I noticed my legs were shaking as I slowly stood up and began to shuffle out of the living room. Sam gave me a warning glance but let me continue.

When I was close enough for Elton to notice me, I scrunched my face up. "What are you guys doing?" I asked, my voice raspy.

"Why are you up?" Elton sighed.

I shrugged as I let him help me to a chair at the table where they sat, a brown liquid spilled on the table. "Yum..." I muttered.

Elton dropped the connecting tube with a sigh of frustration. I gave him a small smile, then picked up a new pouch of the liquid food and the syringe.

"Here, let me." I said, putting the opening of the pouch and the nozzle of the tube together, then screwed them together effortlessly.

Colby looked at me, confused. "How'd you know how to do that?"

"3 months of practice last year." I laughed, but quickly regretted saying anything.

"What? Why?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

I felt my cheeks get hot again as I tried to come up with yet another excuse. "Biology class." I whispered, unsure what to say.

"But you're homeschooled..." He narrowed his eyes at me, knowing I was lying.

"She went to a like...workshop for nursing." Elton said, giving Colby a glare that said 'Shut the hell up'

I let out a half giggle, mainly for Colby's benefit. "I'm going to go upstairs." I said, rising from the table. Elton and Colby both reached out to help me but I quickly pushed their hands away, "I've got it, thanks." I mumbled, slowly turning on my heels. I made my way up the stairs, slowly and painfully but knowing there would be a sense of victory when I reached the top.

Once in my room, I plopped down on my bed, feeling a tear fall down my face. I couldn't get last year out of my head.

-

I stood in my hospital room, the four walls seeming to close in around me. Dad and Nicole had just gone home for the night which meant I was left to my own devices. I sat impatiently on the bed, letting my feet hover above the ground. My eyes drifted to the port in my chest which was pushing the chemotherapy drugs into my body. The sound of my food pump droned on in the background.

I never thought that this would be me. That I would actually be sitting alone in a hospital room, receiving chemo for the third day in a row, hoping to get rid of the lump in my hip before it systematically mutilated my body.

Nurses occasionally would come into the room to check my vitals or change the settings on my pump, and each time they'd recommend that I get some rest. Of course I wouldn't listen, because I figured that a lack of sleep wouldn't be the thing to kill me, if anything.

I remember feeling so alone and helpless, like no one understood. I never wanted to feel that way again.

-

I was startled by a knock on my door. I quickly wiped away my tears and slowly made my way to the door, opening it slightly. I jumped when I saw it was Sam, looking down at his feet.

"Elton said to come get you because were watching- Are you crying?" He asked, startled.

"No, I'm fine, I'll be right down." I muttered, trying to close the door again, but Sam stuck his foot in the way.

"What's wrong?" He demanded, opening the door completely.

I grumbled, walking to the windows of the balcony, "Nothing, Sam. I'm just in a little pain from the feeding tube." I lied, not facing him.

"Okay." he nodded, eyeing me skeptically.

I turned to him and used my hands to guide him towards the door. "I'll be down." I said, reassuringly.

"Kate, wait-" He stopped, "Uh, here, does the reason your crying have anything to do with this?" he asked, pulling out a compact, black leather journal from his back pocket.

A sharp breath hitched in my throat, "Where did you..?" I narrowed my eyes and snatched the book from his hands.

"I'm sorry, I found it on the floor in the kitchen and I thought it was one of the boy's dumb props for their videos. I had no clue it was yours." He said.

I felt tears stinging the corners of my eyes. "How far'd you get?"

"Not far!" His hand scratched the back of his neck " just to the part about the cancer...and the surgery...and the potential outcomes." He said.

I turned away, using the palm of my hand to clear away the tears.

"Kate, what happened-" He started with pleading eyes.

"Stop!" I cut him off. "I just met you, I don't have to tell you anything," I wiped away the tears which were tickling my cheeks. "You had no right to do that, Sam. I wasn't ready to share that with you, or any of you yet."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to stop reading, but I was just worried..." He said, clearly.

"Worried or not, it wasn't your place to invade such a personal part of my life like that!" I yelled, turning away. "Just, please leave me alone."

I heard him sigh and close the door as he made his way out of the room. Wiping my tears away once more, I sunk to the ground with a deep breath, laying my head in my hands.

When I was ready to face the boys, assuming Sam had just told them about my mental breakdown, I moved to the living room where they all were engulfed in an episode of SpongeBob.

I sat next to Corey, as far away from Sam as I could be. I watched Corey mindlessly play a game on his phone, losing almost every time.

"You suck." I quietly chuckled.

"Let's see you do it." He laughed, giving me a challenging look. I took the phone and attempted to play, failing even worse than he did.

"Mhm, that's what I thought." He playfully nudged me and took his phone back.

I laughed, resting my head on my knees which were pulled to my chest. I felt like Corey and I really clicked, but not in a 'I wanna date you' kind of way, but a 'I really like your company' kind of way. I felt closer to him than I did to Elton some times.

For the rest of the night, we all just sat around the living room, playing board games and the guys ordered pizza, which I obviously couldn't have because of that damn feeding tube.

They all took some videos with me, introducing me to their channels. It was really weird just talking to a camera, especially with a feeding tube shoved up my nose. When it came time to film with Sam I kept a good distance away from him, which earned a few stares from the other boys, but they knew well enough not to ask.

I ended up falling asleep on the couch with my head resting on Corey's knee and Elton's blanket wrapped around me.