STRICTLY BFF's (GIRLXGIRL) ·Rewrite·

Facing the Inevitable ; Classes

CHAPTER NO.3

"Group time!" Were the worst words you could hear. They some shouting at you, consuming all your free time. One you heard those words, you were filled with disappointment and resentment.

I might sound dramatic. You might say that classes were inevitable, and I should get used to it. But you don't understand what it's like to sit in a room, and expose yourself to strangers. When you're forced to speak your heart and all of your worst insecurities to a group around you. You speak while they stare at you as if hungry for more secrets to issue from your lips. You feel as if you're naked, and the whole world has its eyes on you, scanning over every part of you that you wished no one to ever see. The parts you hate about yourself, and now the whole world can see them.

That's what it's like. Some days are better than others. Some group sessions issue cheerful laughter from my lips, and grins as wide as the world. Some days, that "group time" call is the shackles around my wrists. The other prisoners are the ropes around my ankles, and the instructor is the whip in the master's hands.

I was sitting in my room. Cards out were spread out before me, ready to engage a game of solitaire, when I heard the echo of an announcement down the hall.  "TIME FOR GROUP!" I slowly stand up, brushing the dust from my back pockets. I follow Reagan down the narrow hallway, and I enter the group room.

Brooks was playing with something in his palm, like a small gem, green and glowing. There was a chain issuing from the jewel, and the silver chain coiled like a snake in his lap. I sit beside him, watching his hand curiously. I looked up to his face, which was hung low. He was biting his lip, the corners of his mouth bent upwards, exposing his small dimples on either side. His eyes were watery, and it looked as if they were ready allow tears to flow down his cheeks, but they didn't. Somehow, a sob was held back.

He must've noticed I was watching him, because he slipped the necklace into his pocket, as if to hide it from my gaze. Although curious, I said nothing. Instead, I wrapped my arm around his back to comfort him, rather than using words. Sometimes, love was better off unsaid.

"Hello, students." The phsyciatrist greeted as she strut to the front of the classroom. She was short, with an Asian facial structure, with thin, brown eyes and slick black hair pulled back in a messy bun. She bounced on the heels of her feet, clinging tightly to her clipboard. "My name is Ms. Joy, and I will be your psychiatric teacher in the mornings. I'd like to begin today with check-ins."

Check-ins are times during the first five (or so) minutes of a class, and they are dedicated to how we're feeling and our goals. Our goals are assigned to us based on what we need to work on, so we can get closer to our path of excellence. Everyone begins with three basic goals, and everyone builds individually from there. The first one to go was Brooks.

"My name is Brooks." He began, as if it had been rehearsed a million times before. "Emotions.... I'm feeling rather neutral today. Goals..." He thought for a moment. "Boundaries, Positive leader, and respect."

The next one to go was Bruno, then Calvin, then Damien, David, Jacobi, Kellie, Lukas, Melanie, Nate, Natalie, and then me.

"My name is Paris. I'm feeling happy. My goals are boundaries, Positive leader, and respect." I finished, and passed the turn to Reagan, who was sitting alone at the back of the classroom, lost in thought.

"REAGAN!" I yelled. "YOUR TURN!" Ms. Joy glared at me.

"Now, honey, let's try to keep our voices down." She said calmly, and I pouted.

Reagan was still surprised by my sudden outburst when she began her check-in. "I'm Reagan. I'm feeling insecure because Paris scared me." She shot me a glare. "My goals today are positive leader, boundaries, and respect."