"Daddy! I can't get up! Daddy!" I lay on the muddy floor of a zipline track. My legs are sprawled out in front of me and I'm wailing for help. I cry out, but no one is around. "Daddy I can't do it!" I scream, louder. I have bruises all over me, a huge gash in my arm, and a bloody nose. I'm helpless and pathetic, sitting voulnerable in the woods. My mom is pregnant with my little sister who lasted only a week (She died of prematurity) so she's sitting safely at home, and my dad is high above me on a zipline. Nobody could hear my wails. I'm just some 10 year old girl lying on the forest floor, her gear squeezing tightly to her legs with a snapped rope. I knew I shouldn't have gone alone, but I was old enough, right? Nothing bad would happen? That is untill I broke both my legs with one bone sticking out of my leg, had to get stitches, had a broken nose, and had to lay like that for 3 hours. I was lucky to have that, really. My rope snapped at the lowest part of the ride so it wasn't extremely far of a drop. They weren't even aware I had fallen untill a frayed rope rode in to the exit. Then my dad FREAKED out and sued them afterwards, causing them to close the zipline place down.
This story is what I thought about, lying in bed as I fingered the scar on my arm that will never heal all the way. I thought about how helpless I was. There was so much pain, but I couldn't do aything. I'm 17 now, and my doctor said I may not get to live on my own for the rest of my life because of my epilepcy. I realized that that day, when I was alone in the woods and almost bled to death, felt like I do now. So helpless. Nobody around to hear my screaming to let go. That there's now this huge wall in front of my life that's blinding me. I was going to go to college. I was going to be a model. I had a full payed scholorship to the best school in the country, so I could get a degree for when I finally give up my modeling. I had an agent. I had a job. I had a life. Now I'm under constant watch. I'm not free anymore. I can't live 5 minutes without people asking me if I think I'm okay for right now or if I need to lie down for a minute. I'm just done. I'm done.
