cheerleader // phan

five

"i came to watch you of course," phil lied, quickly gaining back his composure. savanna looked at phil, then at dan. then back at phil, then back at dan. she rolled her eyes and let him off the hook. phil let out a breath that was stuck, and both boys walked to opposite sides of the gym, dan's head hung low, and phil's up high.

"alright cheerleaders!" coach flannigan beamed, her long dirty blonde hair flowing as she spoke. her long, mascara covered lashes draped over her cheeks when she blinked, "you all should've came up with your own routine, so, without further ado, let's begin! first up, savanna grey!" coach said, and walked back to her judging table along with the other co-coaches.

dan watched in awe as savanna did her flips and cartwheels perfectly. phil smiled in pride for his beautiful girlfriend, and forgot all about dan on the other side of the gym.

a couple other girls went, until dan went. the only boy in the room, except for phil.

dan walked to the mat in the middle of the gym. he took a deep breath, and began. his landings were perfect, as well as everything in between, everyone was silent as dan did his routine, until a mean voice piped up.

"you suck!" savanna said, loud enough for dan, but quiet enough for the judges not to hear. dan was caught off guard and stumbled after a flip, falling onto the mat, completely flubbing.

dan was traumatized. he just screwed up in the middle of everyone. he stood back up, and stood still. the judges nodded, and he walked back to his seat on the bleachers, tears welling up in his large eyes. he looked at phil, who was staring right back at him, sympathy and sadness in his eyes as dan wiped away a stray tear.

dan pleaded for help with his eyes.

please, say something. you heard her say it, didn't you?

phil looked down. more girls went up and were perfect. none of them messed up. dan's head stayed down, tears falling here and there.

and then the hell of tryouts were over.

"thank you, cheerleaders! now, go back to class!" coach beamed, and dan got up and practically sprinted out.

phil was left with his girlfriend in the gym. she stood up and smiled at phil, and he smiled back with all of his force.

"did you see what i did to dan! ha! the damn trannie would've never have gotten on the team anyways!"

phil tried to resist the manipulation, he really tried, but it didn't work, his mind was overtaken.

"yeah, that was good, babe," phil said maliciously, and walked to class with her, hand in hand.

dan sprinted to the swings, his feet slamming against the concrete sidewalk, he let out sobs as the skirt of his uniform flowed in the wind. he finally got to the swings, and sat down on them. he shoved his hands into his face and let out a large sob.

and like always,

he was alone.

•••

"dan! where were you?" a worried voice said as dan walked into his apartment late as night, relieved it was friday. ian walked up to dan and he fell into his arms, sobbing into his shirt.

ian stiffed up in suprise, but he then hugged him back.

"everyone's already asleep, c'mere" ian said, walking dan over to the sofa. when they both sat, dan wrapped himself around ian, wrapping fists around ian's shirt, sobbing into his shirt.

"shh," ian hushed, rocking dan back on forth like a small child. ian kissed dan softly on the forehead. dan explained what happened at tryouts, and ian just listened, kissing dan softly.

•••

phil walked onto his porch late as night and lit a cigarette. his mind overflowed with thoughts as the air surrounding him overflowed with the smoke slowly escaping from his lips like a waterfall.

a full moon was hung high in the sky, the only light illuminating the ground below. phil didn't know what he was doing. he threw his true self at dan, and now he regrets it. he threw himself on the table.

then took it back.

then threw it right back out again.

and dan fell for him every time he put it back.

and phil felt terrible.

phil made the decision that only two things could be done:

keep talking to dan, but ruin his life.

or never speak to dan again.

phil chose the latter.