Pursuing Mr. Bieber || zustin au ✔

[28] Zayn Malik

grab your tissue (don't listen to sign of the times while reading this)

Also, major thanks to Oshi (biebersmalik) for editing the first part of this chapter because I didn't feel like it. Love youuu

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"I wasn't always like this before, you know," Zayn begins. "When I was younger, around seventeen and eighteen, I used to be the exact opposite of how I am now. I used to be rowdy, naive, out of control, got into a lot of trouble in and out of school; I even used to smoke a little. During high school, I wasn't exactly a loner, but I didn't exactly have many friends either. I was just known as the school misfit and the brother of one of the most popular girls in the school - my sister, Doniya.

It wasn't until maybe a few months in my junior year when I was approached by a group of people. I've never heard from them before in my life. They were some of the popular people. I knew this 'cause my sister hung with a few of them. I wasn't so rowdy, but I did get into some trouble. I haven't started smoking and stuff at this point. They tried to talk to me, but sometimes I would shrug them off. I didn't want anything to do with them, but then they started to grow on me. Eventually, I allowed myself to be sucked into their group. This was the point when I started to change. I dyed my hair, changed my wardrobe, developed this 'fuck off' attitude, disobeyed my parents, smoked and drank. Not much though; I was changing. My parents noticed too because I started to isolate myself and left the house a lot. They didn't pester me about it, but they did tell me to try not to get into trouble.

My sister warned me not to get too involved with them, but I didn't listen. I guess this pissed her off because we stopped communicating a lot. Whenever we were around each other, we'd either be silent or find a way to get into an argument. I should've listened to her, but my stubborn self told me that I was wrong - that my friends weren't how she told me they were - manipulative and conniving. But boy, was I wrong."

Zayn takes a moment to take a deep breath, tears falling from his eyes. Justin rubs Zayn's back soothingly, encouraging him to let it all out.

"We were good friends for a while. We told each other a lot. The latest drama going around the school, what was going on with our grades and stuff like that. Eventually, it got to the point where I started to tell them my secrets. I told them that I was attracted to guys, but they just shrugged it off and said that they didn't mind - that didn't change who I was. I believed them, too.

But after a while of being friends, maybe until January of my junior year, they started to change. When I came around, they were acting more secretive than usual. Sometimes I'd ask what they were talking about and they would make up some lie, and sometimes I would just shrug it off. They were my friends, and I trusted them. They started to become more distant towards me, which made me sad because at this point no one else wanted to be friends with me. We started to hang out less, and I blamed it on myself. I thought they were pushing me away. I had confronted them at a point. They told me they were sorry. That since they were seniors, I don't think I mentioned I was the only junior of them which was a sign that I should've seen, that they were more busy picking out colleges and stuff like that. I believed them blindly because my sister was doing the same thing.

And then suddenly... it was as if everything changed. They were always around me now, always wanted to hang out with me, always wanted to know what I was doing, and I didn't think anything about it. Of course, at first, I found it weird. But then they just told me that they missed spending time with me, and I believed them. The weirdest things were they actually started to be super nice to me. We were kind of, uhm, assholes to each other all the time. There wasn't a moment that we weren't back talking each other or saying stupid stuff but they actually were being nice to me. Me, being the oblivious person I am, didn't notice what was going on at the time. I was happy to have my friends talking to me a lot again, so I didn't let it bother me.