Emotional

Chapter 3

The next morning Erin awoke to an empty bed. How he had managed to get up without her knowing she had no idea but she started panicking. "Jay? Jay?" she called jumping out of bed. She ran and checked the bathroom, but it was empty. She checked the spare room, it too was empty. The kitchen had been cleaned spotless; the broken glass and spilled whiskey gone. She couldn't find him.

She called his cell but nothing. Just as she was fixing to call Mouse, the front door opened. He came in sweaty and panting for breath. She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him and took a deep breath. Jay sank into her hug. "I'm ok Erin. I'm ok. Just went for a run," he whispered rubbing her back as she pulled back to check him over to make sure he really was ok.

"Damn it you scared me," Erin said wiping her eyes. She'd been so afraid he'd just gone, left, and she wouldn't be able to find him.

"Hey… hey… it's ok. I'm sorry Er... I just… you were sleeping so good and I needed a run. I'm here," he whispered picking her up. She didn't care that he was all sweaty and needed a shower; he was here and she just needed to feel him close.

He carried her to the bathroom knowing she didn't want to let him out of her sight. He set her on the counter as he stripped letting the water warm up. Once he was done, he pulled the academy shirt over her head. He gazed down at the nasty bruise on her stomach and he felt his stomach turn over as the color drained from his face. He closed his eyes tight as he felt her fingers skim over his chest.

"Shower… now," she whispered pushing him in and following him. He had his face turned into the spray with his back to her. He couldn't get over the fact that he'd hit her; it was eating him up inside and he couldn't face her. He felt her arms wrap around his stomach and he tensed.

"Jay… relax. It's just me. I'm here." She placed soft kisses up and down his back.

"Er…. Stop…. Just stop," he whispered pulling her hands from around him. He didn't deserve her love or comfort. He'd hurt her, done the one thing he swore he never would, and he couldn't face her.

Erin was a little shocked, but she didn't listen. She wrapped her arms back around him and held tight laying her head against his back. "Erin….." Jay said desperately trying not to break.

"I'm not leaving. I'm not going to stop loving you. I'm not going to stop giving you the comfort you need. I'm not and you're not going to make me. You never stopped with me and I will not stop either," she said squeezing him a little.

Jay broke. The tears came hard and fast and he sank to the floor of the shower as he sobbed. He made it impossible to hold him; he laid his head on his knees and his hands ran through his hair as he lost it. "I…. I…. hit you," he sobbed over and over. Erin couldn't stop her tears from silently falling down her cheeks.

"Jay… Jay baby… it's ok. It's ok. I'm ok. Please… please look at me. I'm here," she pleaded with him reaching for his hands. She finally managed to lace her fingers with his. "Jay… come on baby let's get out… let's go lay down," she pleaded. She knew he would eventually cry himself out and he would be asleep in the shower. She tugged at his hand.

"Please baby…" she whispered standing up. Jay finally followed, still crying as Erin turned the water off. She wrapped a towel around him and then herself. She barely got him to the bed. "Jay… it's ok I promise. You didn't know. It was an accident," she said laying on top of him although it made him tense.

"Jay come on babe… look at me… I'm right here. I'm ok," she whispered running her fingers through his wet curly hair.

"I did the one thing…. The one thing I swore I never would…. I don't deserve this Er…. Just… just go," he cried.