Guilt

*five weeks earlier*

*five weeks earlier*

I'd been suspicious since summer- since your sister sent that indestructible message that tore my holiday apart. It was only that evening on campus when I realised that your sister's words had been far from the truth, and an understatement as low as the hell below.

My suspicions were only confirmed when your best friend assumed I knew already and blurted everything out. You hadn't told me, and I was so mad at you that I truly thought my head was going to explode with everything bubbling up inside it like a shaken up bottle of champagne. I sat in my car,

unable to talk for fear of losing it. I rested my head in her hands and wished I were someone else. If only you could have seen me then. What would you have said? Would you hold me or pretend I was not there? When you apologised the next day, did you mean every word you said? Did you pretend that my gaze was not burning into you as you explained yourself? Why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you care?

Sorry I haven't done anything for a while- I didn't have any motivation to write about someone who will never be worth my time but hey ho, feelings are feelings and there's no avoiding them.