Peak

Ch. 6: Can Only Go Up

It was a rough night to say the least. My dad ended up going home so the house wasn't unattended while my mom slept in the waiting room.

My surgery would be around eight in the morning and I got about four hours of sleep. I realize I'd probably be dead all day tomorrow anyway, but all I was asking for at this point was one more somewhat peaceful night.

Throughout that time I mostly either stared at the wall or thought about the game. I would have to wait until I got home to watch the coverage online, so I had no other choice but to sit there and wonder why we just gave up in the second quarter.

At one point in the night a little before one I was completely fed up and desperately texted Antoine.

You: Hey bud you up?

Antoine: Shoes ! How you doin everything okay?

You: Don't worry about me what happened after I left

Antoine: Everyone is worried Sam tell me the verdict and I'll tell you about the game

You: ...

You: It's broke... Four to six months...

As soon as I typed it reality hit me like a truck. Hearing it was one thing, saying it yourself is a whole other story. I still didn't want to accept it, but I had no other choice, just like I have no other choice but to sit back and watch for the rest of the season. Yet something inside of me still told me everything's okay, even though it's not.

It's like I refused to fully accept what happened, almost as if I was imagining this or it was a dream.

Antoine: ...I don't know what to say man...im sorry

You: What's done is done, can't change nothin. Now what happened

Antoine: Can I just call you it's too much to type

You: yeah

Within seconds my phone buzzed.

"Talk." I said.

"Alright, to be honest I don't even know what happened, and I made my fair share of mistakes as well after you left. I guess everyone was just rattled. Coach kept pacing back and forth, I heard some players mention your name, and the crowd got quieter. It was weird man, everyone just kinda slunk away." I heard Antoine sigh on the other end of the line. "We were holdin' our own when you were out there, but once you were gone Brigsfield took advantage of that loss. It was like a replay of last year's game, and I never wanted to relive that."

There was a long pause before he continued, "Gary Hepford was put in. He was the only one doin' decent. Compared to how he usually is, he was kinda humble about it, but I still think he was being an asshole." Antoine hesitated, "He's not a leader like you, Sam. It's not the same, plays don't flow like they did with you."

"Well, you might have to get used to him, cause it doesn't look like I'm coming back." I said flatly.

"Hold up, like not coming for the season or not coming back...like Jimmy?"

All sound fell in the air when I heard his name. Jimmy was the last person I wanted to be brought up in this situation.

"I could never just give it up like he did, Antoine. I'm cornered, all I can do is wait." I replied rubbing my eyes.

"Hang in there Shoes. Hey would it be cool if I brought the fellas up to visit tomorrow?" He asked.

I huffed, "I'm sorry man, they're hackin' this open tomorrow." I said.

"Aw shit you left out the part about getting surgery!" Antoine sounded almost as frustrated as I was. "A'ight, just text me as soon as we're able to come over."

"Will do, bud."

"Take care of yourself. And remember, you're still a Bighorn."

I was in the hospital for about a day after the surgery, I went home the morning after. I don't remember much, but I do recall thinking about how the hell I got here. I had all I could possibly ask for less than 24 hours beforehand, then I found myself being put to sleep where I would officially wake up as a cripple.

By the time I got home, I slept most of the day. One, to get away from everything, two, to ignore all the sympathy, and three, my leg actually hurt like a bitch. The worst part was in the most subtle way I could somehow feel the rod in my leg, so that was interesting to discover.

My friends did stop by the day after that, the conversation was pretty similar to the one Antoine and I had on the phone. Except for Aubrey who cried and told me "I'm all she's been thinking about" and said "I love you" about a dozen times. To be honest, I did appreciate that of her. She didn't really remind me of football like the guys did when they came over. I guess I'm just thankful I have her.

Those few days after the accident seemed to be on loop. My mom supported me in more ways I could ever think of, my dad remained silent, Tyler kept my head up, and visitors came and went.

I managed to convince my parents to let me go back to school on Thursday so I could go to the game Friday night. But no matter how bad I wanted to go, I still didn't like to think about it.

What I did think about more than anything were Antoine's' words before he hung up: "You're still a Bighorn." I sure as hell didn't feel like one, and I didn't know when I would again.