Chasing Down The Day Dream

Hope is a relentless companion

"One day I plan to love so loudly that my body abandons every demon harvesting it."

~Arati Warrier, Witch hunt

They find her at the benches, sipping mango juice and lost in deep thought.

Rezan and Asmara pass each other a glance and approach the woman they've always found difficult to decipher.

"Rania!" Rezan calls.

Startled, Rania turns and waves at them. She gathers her belongings, throws the tetra pack in the trash and walks towards the duo.

"Took you long enough," Rania says.

"Oh this place is a maze. And they needed IDs. Safe to say, the process has been tedious. Why do we do this for you again?"

"Because you love me!" Rania says with the goofiest smile she can muster, "And because it's girls night!"

Asmara laughs at Rania's antiques. She looks genuinely pumped up for the evening. Asmara is glad she'd said yes. This has been a long time coming.

"Let's head to dinner then? I'm starving," Asmara massages her tummy as it makes an indignant sound loud enough for all of them to hear.

"My tummy seconds too!" Rania exclaims.

"Actually," Rezan says apologetically, "I've got to go to the office and sign some important papers," she continues hurriedly as her sister's face falls, "I'll make it real quick. We can be in and out within five minutes."

She turns to face Asmara.

"I am sorry, this is important."

Asmara shrugs, "Fine by me. Rania, stop being so grumpy and get your pretty derriere in the car. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

Rania snorts.

"Of course, mademoiselle. Only if you promise we can have dessert too."

"Deal," Rezan replies with relief.

***

The office is as alive as ever. As it appears, there is no dearth of human beings turning on each other. As Rania enters, she notices that all the advocates and their inconsolable clients seem to be packing up so they can reach home before the evening rush hour.

Rania glances around uncomfortably, grateful that Asmara is waiting in the car. Her friend is always so high on empathy that it only ever ends up harming her.

She wonders how it makes her look in light of her fragile best friend. Rania is always misunderstood as emotionally unavailable, vacant even. Her brother had gone to the extent of calling her a machine but Rania didn't mind. Not everyone understood her.

Heck, even she hasn't completely understood herself.

But she does believe in empathy and understands the human constructs around it. She has never hesitated in putting herself in someone else's shoes but has always been careful not to feel too comfortable in them.

Emotions, she has gathered, are best taken in tiny spoonfuls.

Rania believes in keeping them private, her tears and sweat and personal belongings of that sort. They are meant to be kept in boxes, to be opened when one is at ease. She wonders if this is why her family thinks she is brave.

What good is bravery that crumbles at night?

She hates this stupid office, always filling her with questions she dare not answer. She sits in her sister's cabin trying to distract herself by playing with the paper puncher.