instagram // irwin

51.

amelia 

"it's morning!!" i shouted at ashton, who was laying in bed, exhausted. 

he chuckled. "yes, i'm aware of that m. thanks for the clarification." 

"you're welcome." i smiled, moving my computer so I could get more comfortable. "so how have these past few days without me been? boring im guessing?"

"very boring. i have no one to cuddle with anymore except luke," ashton frowned, and i laughed. 

"proof or it didn't happen." i smirked. 

"proof of what?" ashton furrowed his eyebrows. 

"you and luke cuddling. what else woud i be talking about?" i rolled my eyes. 

"i don't know, im still half asleep." ashton said, and we were both silent for a moment. "god, i wish i could be holding you right now." 

"is it bad i already miss you, like, a lot?" i asked, biting the inside of my cheek. 

"not at all. i wish we had more time together. two and a half days was not enough." he shook his head. 

"you're telling me. now im alone again." i sighed. 

"i don't understand how. it's hard to not want to be friends with someone like you. there isn't one person?" ashton asked. 

"thanks ash. i mean, i do have this friend from work, but i don't know. we've never really hung out." i shrugged.

"well i think you should talk to them and set something up. i don't like seeing you unhappy, mia. it makes me unhappy." 

"ashton, have i every told you how truly amazing and incredible you are? you blow my mind. in a good way." i said and thought back to why i would ever choose luke over him, even drunk. 

of course i loved luke, but ashton was so much more attractive to me, i guess you could say. everything about him made me happy and care free. ashton irwin was an absolutely perfect person, and I didn't notice until it was too late and i fucked up. 

but he didn't have to know, right?

ashtons face lit up and he started smiling. "god, i love you."

"hm?" i asked, choosing not to believe what i just heard. ashton irwin would never love me as a friend or romantically. i had to be just hearing things. 

"uh, nothing." he said, keeping his smile bright on his face. 

"okay." i shrugged. "are you rooming with any of the boys in whichever city your in now?"

"yeah. im with michael. i wish i could have my own room." ashton laughed. 

"but wouldn't it be boring then? you'd have no one to talk to," i pointed out. 

"you're not wrong.." ashton said, nodding his head. "but these guys can be very annoying sometimes, i think one night by myself would be nice." 

"so you think we're annoying? im hurt, ashton. you hurt me," a voice said of camera which i recognized as michael. 

"see what im talking about mia? annoying." 

"you're talking to mia? i wanna talk to her!" michael said, climbing onto the bed with ashton. "hi mia! i miss you and your cat!" 

"thank you michael. it's nice knowing someone appreciates elsie. even if you only met her briefly," i giggled. 

"im allergic! you can't blame me." ashton fought. 

i crossed my arms. "you don't have to hate her jsut because youre allergic." 

"ashton, just face it. mia will always like me better than you as long as you hate the cat." michael smiled and stood up once again."ok mia, it was amazing seeing you, but ashton and i have a show to get to." 

"but the show isn't until later!"  ashton complained. 

"we still have to go to soundcheck and shit, dumbass. you're so difficult." michael rolled his eyes. ashton groaned. 

"okay, bye mia. i miss you." 

"i miss you more." 

i hung up the call and immediatly collasped back on my bed, laying my head against the pillow. 

work today was gonna suck, and it didn't help that my follower count on all social media kept rising due to ashton. i wasn't a big deal at all, but people who i assume are fans of 5sos have recognized me while i've been working on multiple occasions and sooner or later my boss would not tolerate it. 

i relaxed against my pillow for a few more minutes before finallt dragging myself out of bed, deciding to get dressed and presentable if i was going to be behind a counter serving people for four hours.

i didn't put as much effort as usual into myself, but i looked good enough to go out without looking absolutely horrible. my make up and hair were going to get ruined during work anyway, so there was really no point. 

before heading out, i grabbed an apple off the counter and my purse and went on my way. as i was walking i thought about texting one of the boys maybe, but i remembered they were getting ready for the show. they were only here for two days, but it felt so weird without them here to talk to. 

hopefully they won't just.. forget about me. i know im not that special, but its nice to think i could mean something to them, maybe. 

i took out my phone and began to look through my social medias, liking some tweets and instagram posts of me or the boys or just aimlessly scrolling. i looked up every now and then to make sure i wasn't bumping into anything, and i thought about how lucky i was that even though my family hated that i lived in new york, they still helped me pay for everything. 

it was weird to be thinking of it at this point in time, but as i was walking by some of the apartment complexes that weren't as nice as the others i really felt thankful. 

i was thankful for my life and my home and my family and my job and ashton. i was beyond thankful for ashton. i loved him, and i have for a while, but it was close to impossible that he felt the same. ive known him for years and developed this strong bond through videos and pictures and shows, while hes only known me for a few months and we just met briefly and i already hooked up with his bandmate. 

i was thankful for ashton, but he probably just wanted to get rid of me. 

thank u all so much for 55k views! next update at 60k :) but in the spite of being thankful (even though its not close to thanksgiving) i am so thankful for each and everyone of you reading this and i wanted to thank you for taking a chance on this book and sticking with me even when i dont for a week or so at a time :) i love u all and u guys are beyond amazing and never forget that xx (also sorry if this chapter is boring! after writing her and the boys together for a while its weird to write her without them!)

-m.