Finding love janoskian selfharm story

A new start

A WHILE LATER

I had beau to show me where my room was and i went to unpack my things, i went to the bathroom and washed up. I left my clothes on my bed so i went out with a towel around me then i got changed and climbed into bed. I felt like shit then i heard a nock on my door luke came in

"Hey are you okay?"he asked

"Yeah im good"i told him he came to sit next to me, he turned to face me

"I hope you feel better, you're too beautiful to look so sad"when he said that it instantly put a smile on my face

"Thanks"

"Its true"he said looking into my eyes a string of my hair feel onto my face and luke pulled it back for me witch made me shiver he was so cute and nice but I cant let it fool me he probably is just saying it

"Is this room well enough for you? If not you could use my room and i will come in here"he said

"No this room is very nice, you dont have to do that for me"

"Okay well sleep i hope things start to get better for you "he told me i smiled and nodded my head and he walked out closing the door. I felt a slight bit better thats what I needed

THAT MORNING

I woke up to a loud noise that scared the shit out of me i ran out of my room and down stairs it was Daniel and jai playing around. i smiled and went to sit on the couch where beau and luke was i sat on the edge of the large couch and luke saw me he smiled and scooted closer to me

"Had a nice sleep"luke asked me

"Yeah, very did you "I asked

"Yeah it was amazing"he told me

"Oh yeah? What did you dream about?" i asked him

"That me and the boys stayed the Janoskians until we died haha we were all old and still doing challenges"he told me but I didn't know what he was talking about

"What's that"i asked

"What's what?"he looked confused

"The Janoskians?"

"Oh you don't know? haha it's me,beau,jai,james and Daniel"he told me with a smile on his face"We are in a group. we got popular off of YouTube, we go around the world and do concerts "

"Oh wow I didn't know that. But thats awesome, I want to get famous off of YouTube"i said with a smile

"Yeah"he smiled

"Do you want something to drink or eat?"he asked while getting up

"What do you have"

"Water,vodca,Orange juice, milk and soda for drinks and pancakes for food"he listed, i thought for a second

"Orange juice and pancakes please"

"Okay"he walked over to the kitchen and got what I asked for

LATER

it was 5:09 and i was in my room so i got changed in the bathroom and i pulled out my razor i was so upset that i didn't cut yesterday what was i thinking I put the blade on my skin and cut. Each cut made me even more angry so i cut harder blood flowed from my arm like rain. I stopped and took one of my towels and wet it in water. I squeezed some of the water out and soaked up the blood from the floor the towel was already red so you couldn't see the blood i then ran water on my arm it hurt like crazy but I had to clean it. After i put water on it I wrapped a towel on it. After i fully cleaned up I walked over to my room sat on the bed and cried. I hate my life, why was i born?